“You are remembered for the rules that you break.” - Douglas MacArthur
The world sets out so many predetermined rules for us -- universal rules that people believe apply to every situation, no matter what the circumstances. Rules that people think are destined to protect you, and even benefit you. However, so many of these rules are quite honestly some of the worst pieces of advice to give a person. Instead of applying them aimlessly to every situation, I believe they should be “rules not to live by.”
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.
False. We always preach how honesty is everything. How if we are wrong, we want to be corrected. If someone does something that is bothering you, talk to them directly to fix it. Not everything a person will confront you with is going to be “nice.” Not every piece of correctional advice you will be given in this world is going to be “nice.” The point of the advice, or the confrontation, or the honest opinion is to fix a problem and learn from it. Say what’s on your mind, be an honest voice. Don’t keep your mouth shut even when what you have to say isn’t the nicest advice to give someone. Obviously there is fine line between honest advice, and rude, unnecessary thoughts or opinions. Be honest, be as nice as possible when being honest, but don’t refrain from speaking your true feelings to someone who deserves them solely because its not a compliment.
There are no second chances in life.
But there should be. So often in life people preach about how if your hurt once by someone, they don’t deserve to be in your life. Or if you mess up your first shot, you’re not going to get a second. Life is about making mistakes. We are human -- no one is perfect, and people are going to make mistakes. Don’t shut people out for messing up in life, we all do it. Give second chances to the ones who deserve it. Give them 10. There should be second chances in life.
Stand up for yourself or no one else will.
Maybe, but if that's the case, you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people. Friends should have your back, should support you, should want you to be happy -- meaning, whether you're there at the time or not, they should stand up for you. Your family should stand up for you. The people you love and give your time to, should stand up for you. If you’re the only voice for yourself, or the only person advocating for you, find new friends who appreciate you as much as you do them. Never settle for less than you deserve.
You get what you give.
This is one the the worst rules to follow, to live by, and to believe will actually be true all throughout your life. Just because you are nice to someone, certainly doesn’t meant you are guaranteed kindness in return. Unfortunately, our world is not quite that simple. Just because you respect someone, or are kind to them, or you put someone firs in your life, does not mean you should expect to receive the same. Stick to your morals, kill people with kindness and respect, but don’t be so naïve as to assume you will get the same back. You may get let down, or get hurt, but at least you can come out the bigger and stronger person. Stick to who you are -- be the kind of person you want to be, despite the less than desirable treatment you will often get in return.
Treat your elders with respect.
I am all about respecting authoritative figures and respecting your mentors. However, in today’s world, I find it more and more common that there will be teachers, or mentors, or coaches, or elders, who have the least bit of confidence in their students/players/the younger generation. So often you will see or hear of teachers disrespecting their students and tearing down their confidence, or coaches tearing apart their players, or adult sales workers being bitter and rude to their customers. Are we supposed to just greet these people with a smile and say OK to the way we are treated? I truly do believe the mentors, and teachers, and coaches and elders who treat us with respect deserve the world. My grandparents and my parents certainly deserve all the respect in the world in more. But I do not agree with respecting people solely based on their age, I think the respect they give us should be the determining factor of the amount they receive. Age is just a number, if they disrespect us, why should we turn around and give back to them every ounce of respect we have? The answer is, we shouldn’t.
Leave the past in the past.
Mistakes made are some of the best lessons I have learned. People who I’ve hurt, or people who’ve hurt me, or times I acted in a way I shouldn’t have -- all have brought me to where I am now and have made me the person I am today. Every mistake, whether made by me that affected someone else, or made by another person that affected me, has made me who I am and has taught me a new lesson about life. If I were to disregard everything that happened in the past, forget about it and move on, I wouldn’t have learned nearly half of what I know today. The past helps us grow, makes us who we are, and teaches us so much about what is yet to come. Don’t leave the past in the past -- whether it is the good past or the bad. All of it contributes to who we are. Hold on to it, reference it, and learn from it.
Life is all about living and learning. Every person you meet, every situation you are faced with, and every mistake you make all play a role in creating who you will be. From the day we are born, we are given rules. Rules of what not to do, rules to follow to keep us safe, rules to follow to keep us out of trouble, rules to live our lives constantly following. Instead, I want you to not follow these rules. I want you to not follow the rules that hold you back from protecting yourself, from learning from your mistakes, and from making yourself stronger. Don’t follow the rules that let people walk all over you, or hold you back from growing in life, or make you vulnerable. Stop following the rules that come without a benefit, live your life the way you want to, be yourself -- because unlike when you were two, or when you were in school and the rules were implemented by your second grade teacher, this time, no one is stopping you.
