Sea turtles seem to be all over the Internet these days. We hear a lot about how their numbers are dwindling and they are in danger, partially due to the number of plastic straws that wind up in the ocean, harming the creatures that live there. This is sad, I admit, and I do think we need to take steps in order to reduce the amount of plastic that makes its way into the ocean because sea turtles are precious creatures that we need to help in any way we can, but on the other hand, some of the sea turtles that I have personally met this summer have just been downright mean. I'm not saying that we shouldn't save the turtles, I'm just saying that some of them made me literally want to dump an entire package of plastic straws into the ocean. Here are five incredibly rude sea turtles that I met while on vacation this summer.
1. Sea Turtle #1
There I was, just swimming in the ocean and trying to mind my own business when this random sea turtle showed up out of nowhere and almost ran right into me. "Hey, watch it!" I said. "You're not the only one trying to enjoy the water, you know!" Then, the turtle literally just kept on swimming. It didn't even apologize to me or anything, it just swam right past without saying a word. I couldn't believe it. It was so incredibly rude. Like, did this turtle have any manners at all whatsoever? It didn't seem like it.
2. Sea Turtle #2
My next sea turtle encounter was hardly any better. I was simply floating along in the water, attempting to forget about my mundane existence by soaking in the calm ocean vibes when a sea turtle swam past me and rudely said "Go back to the shore, you land dweller! This ocean ain't big enough for both of us." I was so taken aback. Why would this turtle say something so hurtful to me? What had I ever done to deserve such treatment? It really seemed like that particular turtle had a straw shoved way down its throat. I did not understand why we couldn't both share the ocean peacefully. It's a lot of water, after all.
3. Sea Turtle #3
This time, I was planning to spend all day at the beach, so I made my way toward the beach chairs that the hotel I was staying at had left out for its guests. I saw a chair in a great location with perfect proximity to the water, so naturally I made my way toward it in an effort to sit down. But, right before I could put my bag down and claim it as my own, a huge sea turtle came out of nowhere and practically pushed me aside, before sitting down in the chair himself. "Sorry," the turtle said. "Seat taken." I tried to explain to him that I had gotten there first so the seat should really be mine, but he wouldn't listen. "Fine, whatever," I replied. I was able to find a different chair, but the first one was way better.
4. You guessed it, Sea Turtle #4
On the last day of my vacation, I decided to go for a long ocean swim, so I went out a little bit further into the water than I probably should have. A gigantic wave came out of nowhere and plunged me under the water, knocking me back and forth before violently pulling me back up. When I emerged, I realized that I couldn't see the shore anymore. I hate to admit it, but I was lost. At that moment, I saw a sea turtle swim by, so I thought I was saved. I kindly said to the sea turtle, "excuse me, I seem to have gotten a bit lost. Would you mind telling me how to get back to the beach?" The turtle just stared at me. "What do I look like? A tour guide? Figure it out yourself!" Then he just swam away. The nerve of some sea turtles! There I was, lost in the big blue sea, trying to figure out how to save myself, but also unable to forget just how rude all these sea turtles had been to me on my vacation!
5. The Sea Turtle King (Sea Turtle #5)
So, to continue where we left off last time, I was still lost in the deep blue sea, just swimming in random directions and hoping to find the shoreline once again. I'm not sure how far I traveled, or how long I had been out there, but at this point, I must admit that I was starting to panic just a little bit. Then suddenly, I felt something grab at my feet and before I knew it, I was being pulled beneath the surface. Before I knew what was even happening, I found myself in an underwater room surrounded by what must have been hundreds of sea turtles, all surrounding a humongous one sitting in a throne in the center. The massive turtle looked at me and said "I am the Sea Turtle King. You have trespassed upon the kingdom of the turtles! For that, you must be punished!" So apparently, this guy was the actual king of all sea turtles, which I thought was pretty cool, but I really didn't think he was being very fair to me. I tried to explain that I didn't mean to trespass in their section of the ocean, I had just gotten a little lost. Luckily, I was able to finally convince the Sea Turtle King not to sacrifice me to the Sea Turtle Gods, but I found the fact that he even considered doing so to be very rude indeed! I guess he felt slightly bad though, because he then offered me a drink of water. "Yes, please!" I said. He then said, "Would you like a straw?" I was about to automatically say yes because I do sometimes use straws for aid in consuming beverages, then I remembered who I was talking to. "No, thank you," I said. "I'm not much of a straw guy." After I drank the water, I was escorted back to the surface by a member of the Sea Turtle King's Royal Guard, and he even took me back to the beach, essentially saving my life. "Thank you very much," I said to the turtle, but the turtle didn't respond. It just swam right off without even acknowledging my appreciation. "Rude," I said to myself.
These encounters all really happened, so even though I'm thankful that the turtles saved my life when I was lost at sea, I still can't help but wonder why so many of them were so rude to me. Part of me wants to continue using plastic straws as retaliation for their rudeness, but another part of me would also feel bad for doing so. I probably won't be able to give up plastic straws completely, but I guess I'll at least try to cut back on my use of them, for the sake of the turtles, as rude as they may be.