One thing I never understood was why women found Ross Geller attractive.
Even more, people actually wanted Ross and Rachel to get together! Ross Geller was the type of man, who would make me feel bad for having opinions of my own that didn't align with his self-interest. In many ways, his actions speak for the fact that you are secondary to him, at least in his eyes.
The nice guy syndrome is something I've had the misfortune of coming across quite often.
I'm sure most of you ladies have had to deal with this. He's there for you… but not really. While he might initially seem like he cares about you and wants to be a friend when you reject him after he asks you out, you are met with fire and fury. He can't seem to take no for an answer a lot of the times. Something a lot of romantic heroes seem to share. In fact, romantic movies seem to cultivate this notion that being the "nice guy" is perfectly acceptable and in fact desirable.
This is concerning to say the least, as it propagates a culture where men do not take no as an answer, and while I shudder to even think that we need to educate grown adult men the basic lesson you learn as a kid: No means NO.
Not only do these heroes make it seem acceptable and desirable to be obsessive and stalkerish to 'get the girl' but reinforces the idea to women that this behavior is what one would find in a perfect partner who truly wants her. This is why teaching kids, pre-teens, and teenagers this type of behavior is not okay is even more important, this is not romance, this is not what makes a healthy relationship.
It's something I have vehemently been instilling in my younger siblings. Whatever the context, whomever the person, never assume No means anything other than NO. Be comfortable in calling out sexist and problematic stuff others say, whether it be your family, friends or seniors. Stop making excuses for others and own up to your faults when you get called out. But Always have your core values strong, and never waiver from it.
It's okay to be wrong, it's okay to learn and evolve with your ideologies but never sell out on those basics!
While this might sound preachy, I do this because this culture of 'nice guys finish last' is such a toxic and wrong concept as nice guys wouldn't be thinking of companionship and relations as a race… not really… that's the work of the "nice guy", who we most definitely have to call out and not sympathize with.