I’m pretty sure everyone has gone through a heartbreak. If not, you’ve gone through something with another person that completely shattered your heart and left you in shambles. It happens to everyone at some point.
Even those breakups that aren’t really breakups because you guys technically weren’t together but you were. Regardless they still hurt like a mother. Weirdly enough, they kind of hurt more than an actual breakup. At first, you play it cool, like nothing happened, everything is okay, it’s alright - you’re okay, you’re alright but really - you’re Ross Geller.
1.He questions his bad luck, just like we all do.
If I had a dime for the number of times I asked myself this question, I'm about 98.97% sure I'd be rich.
2. He is you when see that one person in public and you have to communicate with your friends to MOVE THE FRICK OUT OF THE WAY.
That moment when it feels like your heart is going to fall out of your ass, so you have no choice but to make a run for it, while still having to casually inform your friends to do the same.
3. Of all people, he questions his sanity – just like us when we realize that we’re crying over someone who isn’t even that poppin’
In the words of a wise friend of mine, “he ain’t even that poppin” so quit it with the waterworks and the moping. We question our sanity once we realize we ate three pints of Ben & Jerry’s, the entire fridge, and downed a bottle of Jack alone. Don’t do it.
4. We’re back to step one – questioning why bad shit happens to good people.
ALL WE WANT TO DO IS SHOW YOU LOVE.
This is also a thought that comes to mind after the bottle of Jack, “why me,” all we want to do is show you, love, smother you with kisses, and take cute pictures but no - bad things always happen to good people.
5. When someone asks you “how are you holding up?”
Biggest lie anyone has ever told - “I’m fine.” But really you’re slowly falling apart, having a few mental breakdowns a day and trying to play it cool.
6. When you run into them Pt. 1
The first time is always crap, you want to play it cool and pretend everything is peachy so you have to come up with something witty or clever to say.
7. When you run into them Pt. 2
But then at some point, running into them at the student union or when you’re on an actual run becomes crappier than usual and now you just want to punch them in the throat.
8. When they [annoyingly] talk to you about who they’re into now and this is the thought that comes to your mind.
I heard a crack, and I’m pretty sure it was my heart breaking. What is the point of bragging about having a different love interest? It’s not the nicest thing to do and it’s a crappy feeling.
9. Now, we’re back to square one: What the hell do we do.
So, what now? Please see the point below.
10. We drink.
TEQUILA FOR EVERYONE!
11. To the point where we’re hung-over as hell the next day – damn near dying of dehydration and a killer headache
The moment of regret but it hurts more to remember that you broke up with your significant other and then another bottle of tequila comes into the picture and the world is suddenly a better place.
12. You get back on the damn horse.
Ross got married three times AND got out of the friend zone more than that. YOU HYPE YOURSELF UP AND GET BACK ON THE HORSE.
