When I first entered college, I was given three roommates. How the four of us were paired together, I still cannot fathom. My freshman year living situation was absolutely horrendous. It was filled with awkward encounters and arguments. Living in my dorm was like trying to survive the Hunger Games.
To this day, I am convinced that one of my roommates is the devil reincarnated. This particular roommate was the definition of crazy. She prided herself in being spoiled and constantly whined to get her way. She was messy and critical of me and my other roommates. She judged us if we partied too much or not enough. She criticized our personalities, and made us feel insecure about the way we looked. She would bring random boys back into the room and expect us to be totally okay with it. She even went as far as to have her scary, super senior boyfriend literally move in with us. It is incredibly gross to listen to your roommate and her boyfriend have sex in the bed next to you. This led to several fights and meetings with our RA until she (thankfully) moved out. This particular roommate was so cruel that she bullied another roommate to move out.
When this roommate moved out, she was replaced by a functioning alcoholic. This girl would drink constantly. She would often be drunk at random hours of the day and was irresponsible about her drinking. She was even hospitalized for her drinking, forcing me and a friend to drive to the hospital to pick her up. She was dependent on others to care for her and did not learn from the consequences of her actions.
My roommate who was bullied out of our room was a quiet and well meaning girl. However, she had the habit of listening in on conversations. It was uncomfortable if I was talking to one roommate about something and then walking out of my room to find her listening at the door. She also would use our things without asking or even telling us. She also would often follow us around without giving us any privacy or time to ourselves.
This brings me to my third original roommate. My other roommate was extremely nice. While we weren’t friends, we also weren’t enemies. We were nice to each other and had mutual respect for each other. It was actually pleasant to live with her!
Having this experience has helped me learn to be a better roommate. Being a good roommate, I’ve learned, is actually quite simple. Just be considerate! If your roommates are sleeping, maybe it’s not the best idea to blast music or wake them up to complain about a grade you have. If you have a boyfriend, maybe ask your roommates before you have him stay over. Establish boundaries. Treat people how you would like to be treated and act like an adult. If you have an issue, bring it up but don’t be confrontational. It’s also okay if you and your roommate are not best friends. You simply just have to live with each other. And again, I cannot stress enough how important it is to be considerate of your roommates. This is not just your home, it’s their home too and you all have every right to be there and feel safe and comfortable. My biggest piece of advice is to create a roommate agreement. A roommate agreement is a set of rules and compromises you and your roommate or roommates make with each other in order to make living together a less stressful environment.
