Regardless of background, everyone can look back on their lives and count one or more times that they regard to be lower points of their life. That's just the way life is - ups and downs. Some struggle more than others, and many are still fighting battles that they have been struggling with for years.
Modern society reflects people who surround their entire personalities with trials and tribulations, though. Glances at social media and even celebrity interviews reflect a variety of people who focus their decisions, personalities, and conversations around the worst parts of their life. My question is: why?
Allow me to be clear about the thesis of this article: In no way do I feel as though people's struggles and personal battles don't matter, or don't deserve attention. The point of this article is not to belittle anyone for having struggled.
What this article is saying, though, is that there is a lot more to you and your potential than just the times you have survived and lived through. There is a certain wisdom to be ascertained in forgetting.
Hardships and tough times come with lasting effects - from physical maladies to psychological trauma. It's not cute, it's not romantic, and it's not something to drag out of a person because it seems deep or poetic.
I entirely agree with the old adage: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
But I don't recall anyone ever quoting something along the lines of "People won't like you unless your life has been terrible." There is more to people than their low points. We are more than our worst fears.
Pity should not be sought out. Pity should not be covered, because it is instant gratification that doesn't last as long as we think it does.
Now, this isn't to say that you should brag (or "humblebrag") whenever you get a chance to either. It isn't either or, and truthfully, going into detail about either at a social gathering or first-date is in poor manners. Yes, people can often relate over tough times, especially when two people experience them together. But to center yourself around it, or to artificially insert it into unrelated topics makes someone seem robotic and as if they aren't well rounded.
It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not live or go at the same pace as everyone else. Life is weird and unique, and everyone is truly different. Your concerns and difficulties are obviously valid, and if you ever need help, you should reach out. But it's important to know that people will still like you, regardless of what you're going through. People that don't accept you for situations out of your control or mistakes that were made a long time ago are not worth your time.
Lead your life with the confidence and perseverance that has gotten you this far.
