From the time we're able to understand what romantic relationships are, it's beaten into our heads by the media that romance and marriage are experiences that everyone should aspire to have. Whereas romantic partnerships can be a great source of support and happiness, not everyone is inclined to succeed in these types of relationships.
Not all successful partnerships need to be romantic.
It's perfectly valid to feel as though you operate more comfortably in a supportive yet laid back relationship. Oftentimes the extraordinary pressure to "woo" your partner can lead to discomfort and insecurity. It's not a bad idea to let your partner know how much you appreciate them, but it's okay to skip on the fancy dinners and jewelry. Not everyone is asking for it, and not everyone can give it, either.
It's not a crime to put yourself first.
Having mental health issues, I personally tend to be very careful when it comes to getting into a relationship. I have to set the boundary that my own health comes first and that I won't always be available or willing to coddle whoever I'm with because I'm doing what I can to take care of myself. This boundary wouldn't always hold up and relationships would suffer because this fact about myself would be misinterpreted for selfishness. The fact is, self comes first. Make this clear to your partner from the beginning and continue to uphold your values. Many times, we compromise our own health for the success of the relationship we're in, and this isn't typically healthy behavior.
Keep the communication open.
Open, aromantic, and other types of non-normative partnerships are great ways to go about expressing compassion and love without infringing upon your values. The trick is to communicate with your partner and just be open about what you want to experience out of the relationship before it ends up coming as a shock to either (or all) of you. For example, telling your partner halfway through a committed romantic relationship that you'd like to open it up for others to join as well may not go over very well unless they happen to feel the exact same way. Plenty of healthy partnerships exist within the realm of non-romantic settings. It's important to be honest with yourself about your needs and open the communication with your significant other in order to be respectful, supportive, and happy.
It's totally cool to be a sucker for love!
Whether your favorite movie is The Notebook or the thought of dancing under the stars to Phil Collins makes you want to vomit, you're an awesome person deserving of the companionship you feel you need! Don't be afraid to make your wishes known. Similarly, if conventional relationships are exactly what you want, put it out there! There's someone for everyone, and as long as we open ourselves up to whomever it is we want to be with, we open a door of new opportunity and development for ourselves. There's no right way to express love, so be yourself and get the most out of your relationship.
