Guns for Grizzlies: The Roast of DeVos
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Student Life

Guns for Grizzlies: The Roast of DeVos

Trump's education nominee seems to have little basic knowledge of the education system.

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Guns for Grizzlies: The Roast of DeVos
Newsweek

Betsy DeVos calmly sat down behind the microphone, smile brimming, unaware of the pain to come.

The hearing started calmly and uneventful, until Senator Bernie Sanders, relative savior of the liberal vote, questioned DeVos’ family financial status and asked if she believed she would have received the nomination if not for the millions that her family has donated to the Republican party.

Minnesota congressman Al Franken was the next roaster on the roster. He continued questions about her family's finances and their history of supporting gay conversion therapy programs. DeVos lobbed it back with claims that she solely managed these finances but would not commit to her beliefs on the issue. Later within the hearing, he asked DeVos whether or not she believed in measuring student proficiency or growth. Her blank stare screamed “Trump save me." The nominee had seemingly no recollection of the popular education debate, and unfortunately was unable to distract the roasters with her dazzlingly white, and Grinch-esque smile. It quickly became clear that DeVos had little basic understanding of education policy, and the cringe-worthy hearing snowballed from there.

Maggie Hassan of New Hampshire asked about her plans to uphold IDEA, a federal law ensuring education for disabled students, DeVos said she would leave enforcement to the states. It became clear that she had no knowledge of the 1975 legislation, but to be fair, DeVos has no experience in working within a school system, so how should she know?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine and Pennsylvania senator Bob Casey pressed how DeVos planned to uphold federal laws and consistent standards in place to protect students and ensure a decent education. Kaine asked her whether she believed that every type of school receiving federal funds should be held to the same standard. At this point in the afternoon, DeVos seemed to have broken, repeating “I support accountability” over and over until asked a different question. As a popular proponent of privatized education, it is not surprising that she is unconcerned with upholding standards of public schools. She also could not seem to promise the upholding of Title IX under the Trump administration when asked her views on campus sexual assault by Representative Casey. Although she did admit that her president was guilty of sexual assault himself.

The most meme-worthy response of the night followed Connecticut Senator Chris Murphy's question on guns in school. DeVos triggered her extensive wildlife knowledge to support having guns in schools: “I will refer back to Sen. [Mike] Enzi and the school he was talking about in Wyoming. I think probably there, I would imagine that there is probably a gun in the schools to protect from potential grizzlies.” This answer gives us insight into what education legislation would look like under DeVos: “Guns for Grizzlies: Get ‘Em Boys." Murphy, representing the state with one of the worst school shootings in history, was not impressed with her unbearable response.

By far the best performance came from feisty Massachusetts congresswoman Elizabeth Warren who schooled DeVos regarding her history with student loans. DeVos admitted that she had no experience with student loans, nor did anybody who she was familiar with. It was then that the audience realized that America’s next education secretary – wife of Amway magnate/billionaire Dick DeVos -- is as down-to-earth as the president himself. She was also unable to commit to a plan for preventing education fraud, which might make her a fitting choice to lead Trump University, but not our nation’s educational system.

Democrats: 1 DeVos: -99.

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