Last week I talked about how I didn’t realize how much work I had to do as far as self-acceptance is concerned until it was time for me to start coming out. In order to get to where I am now, writing this article like it’s no big deal, I had to get some help along the way from things that could foster Pride within me until it just came naturally. Things that made me feel validated in myself. Below is a list of some of the characters, songs, YouTube videos, books etc that have done or are doing that for me. I hope that you'll find some of them do that for you, too.
1. Fiona Coyne, “Degrassi”
Fiona Coyne was the first gay character that I saw that reflected anything similar to my experience. Sure, she lived in a bigger area and had several girlfriends throughout her time on the show, but she also discovered her identity with the help of an inconvenient crush on a friend. The friend ultimately didn’t return her feelings, but Fiona didn’t let it keep her down for too long, which my closeted teenage self was inspired by.
2. Amy Raudenfield, “Faking It”
Amy is what I would consider the more true-to-life version of Fiona. She’s sarcastic and completely unafraid to tell people how she feels. In some ways, she is me, and in others, she’s what I wish I could be. Amy also dealt with a crush on a friend, but it was handled a little more realistically in that she didn’t just get over it right away and her feelings complicated her relationship with her friend, Karma, throughout the entirety of the series. The ambiguous nature of their relationship was always frustrating, but also cathartic to watch.
3. Shannon Beveridge’s “A Letter To You”
When this video came out last October, I was just starting to get into the place that I needed to be in in order to finally come out. The video filled me with so much hope for what my future could look like, and spoke directly to a version of me that I was for a brief time in high school when I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable with the idea of liking girls. By speaking so frankly about the issues she had when she was younger, Shannon revealed herself to be someone who had the experience to tell me it was going to be okay, and I think she was one of the first people I believed when they said that.
4. Rose & Rosie’s “Our Wedding Day”
This video, along with most of the other videos on both of their channels, remind me of what I want some day. Watching their videos is like looking at a vision board. They’re funny, successful, and, judging by what they put online, their relationship has a level of strength that is to be aspired to.
5. Ally Hills’ coming out video.
Ally’s coming out video sticks out to me as being one of the most animated coming out videos I’ve seen so far. The format is more or less the same as other coming out videos, but less somber than many others that I’ve seen. Clearly, I understand that it’s a serious topic, but Ally’s attitude about it all allows for this infectious enthusiasm which rubs off on me every time I watch it.
6. Miles McKenna
Miles belongs on this list because I didn’t start looking seriously into my own self-doubt and shame and all that until I saw a video of his where he talked about how that’s a thing in the community. It’s because of that that I was able to sort out my own emotions enough to start to feel comfortable. Also, his openness about the struggles he’s faced on his journey and how in spite of all of it, he’s found a way to empower himself to be himself is incredibly inspiring.
7. “Heaven”- Troye Sivan
After what happened at Pulse last June, I was apprehensive about going to anything where there would be a large gathering of people. The first time I overcame that was to go to a local concert that I’d already bought tickets for, which Troye was performing at. Before he played this song in his set, he talked a little bit about it and dedicated it to all of the people in the audience who were not straight, and the cheering that followed still gives me goosebumps when I think about it. This song has become the song that I listen to whenever I feel like I need to be reminded that being honest with everyone really is the best way to live life.
8. “Girls/Girls/Boys”- Panic! At The Disco
This song is on the list because there’s something freeing about the buildup to the chorus and then just yelling the chorus as loud as you can, plain and simple.
9. “Know Your Name”- Mary Lambert
I first heard this song as a live performance on “Good Morning America”. I wasn’t actually watching the tv at the time, but Mary Lambert’s name caught my attention (I knew she was the woman who had sung the chorus on “Same Love” and I loved her song “Secrets”), so I was listening. It didn’t take long for me to notice, even before I started watching, how happy and unapologetic she was about the song. I try to channel that feeling every time I listen to it now.
10. “Strangers”- Halsey feat. Lauren Jauregui
I’ve already mentioned this song in the piece I wrote two weeks ago, so it shouldn’t be surprising to see it here. This song is so important because we’ve got a woman who was featured on the biggest song of last summer singing a duet that’s also a love song with a woman who is in Fifth Harmony, a band that’s seemed to see more success as they go. And they both identify as bisexual. All of this would be big even if the song wasn’t awesome, which it is. I saw the first performance of the song on national television on Friday morning, and it was nothing short of extraordinary.
11. Supportive people in my life.
And last but certainly not least, the supportive people that I actually know. Even if all you did was read my coming out article and like it, your support has meant more than you know. I don’t believe my heart has ever felt as full as it did that day, so if you’re reading this and you’ve shown me any kind of support over the last few weeks since I’ve come out, thank you. Seriously. I know that not everyone is so lucky, so understand that I’m grateful.
