Sometimes I wonder about you, about me.
Where could we go? Who could we be?
You would be life's greatest catch,
if only you and I would match.
I swipe right, and hope for the best.
You swiped right, hoping for sex.
You're too nice to leave me on read,
at least that's what your bio said.
I hear visions of wedding bells,
you message me and Stacy...and Gail.
You send a message. What could it be?
I'm guessing holy matrimony.
I'm the bachelorette, this is my final rose
...oh, wait...you just said something gross.
I call of the wedding, say no to the dress.
You're a jerk, just like the rest.
I guess I'll just be single for life,
you were not my Mr. Right.
Maybe I'm not meant for dating,
destined forever to be a cat lady.
Oh, but what's this?! Dale, 25?
Oh my god, Mom. I found the love of my life!