For my 21^st year, I decided to purge any sort of toxins, negativity, and downright evil out of my life. This carries loads of different meanings. The goal includes little things, like eliminating McDonald’s as my on-the-run lunch choice (apart from their Diet Coke, as I’m only human) and cooling off on the reality TV binges (goodbye Mrs. Vanderump). It includes the making of my daily thoughts, the harsh or judgmental musings geared toward myself and others.

Sadly, I also realized that achieving this goal of creating the best me I can be meant that some people would not be able to join me in this next chapter. I have been undeservedly blessed with an incredible amount of wonderful people who have wandered into my world. However, some people are not meant to stick around forever. For a myriad of reasons, these people cannot help you achieve your hopes and dreams of a happier you. For me, this meant a friend, an old love or two, and even a couple people that share some of the same DNA with me. It took awhile to accept that this is okay, that not every person planted in your life was meant to stay rooted forever. Even if it hurts, even if you regret it for a second, this is the best choice you can make. There's no need to create large dramas or scenes when making these decisions, just simply pull back on friendship and love and hope all the best for their lives—the lives that will no longer include yourself.

I’m still learning about this very foreign idea of "giving up." I still have to explain to myself that this is not an evil action, but a necessary one for both that person and myself to be better. I’m learning that letting go of these relationships does not just mean physically. I have to forgive myself for anything I did or neglected to do that brought us to this point. I have to forgive them for their doings as well. This has proven to be the hardest part. Although I do not see their names pop up on my cell phone anymore and I do my best to not run into them, there are still little knocks to the heart that come in every time a thought drifts in about these ladies and gents. I am learning to not let their wrongdoings be a part of my psyche, to not let these happenings destroy my trust in others. This takes more time than I thought.

Through much contemplation, I also realized that a big part of this mission would be to rid myself of any anger toward the people that I do wish to keep in my life. There are some that I really, truly love that have just, pardon my French, pissed me off. I don’t mean the “he didn’t call me back," “she never gave me back that blue blouse," or “she kissed WHO?!” people. I mean the people that have done things that have truly cut you deeply, things that your closest friends don't quite understand how you can look past. Sometimes, you just have to let it go. You have to train your heart and mind to sync up again. Let your mind take guidance from your heart and tell yourself you love this person more than you are hurt by the goings-on in your relationship with them. This doesn’t mean that you consistently take their BS, you just accept that everybody makes mistakes once in a while. So forgive those you cherish and forget those who do not deserve your love.

There are parts of this process that make you want to blow the whole thing off, but remember that in the end you will be a happier person because of it all.

Reminder (mostly to myself): you’re only given one body, so do not poison it with pain, anger, or angst.