Sometimes summer blockbusters are awesome! Sometimes they're total duds, but one thing you can always count on are old favorites. Recently, I've fallen in love all over again with the 1999 flick “The Mummy." Whether you've seen it before or not, you need to get a bucket of popcorn and watch it for these reasons:
Brendan Fraser's God-like bellowing
We all know and love him from George of the Jungle, especially for that smooth chest and his parody of Tarzan's vine-swinging-cry. Fraser takes his projection skills to a new level in “The Mummy.” His scream is as triumphant as ever, and it's usually followed by him shooting something at point blank.
Funny gun face-offs
Speaking of firepower, this movie has so much great violence humor...which somehow manages not to be gratuitously gory. I appreciate Hollywood's cinematic bloodlust as anyone, but I really respect action movies that use blood jets sparingly. In the movie, if someone is getting their sh*t cleaned out, chances are, they're a mummy. It's similar in style to “Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.”
For the fellas: one of the actresses wears nothing but gold paint
This one doesn't really require a lot of elaboration.
Rachel Weisz is adorable
Only an Oscar winning actress could make a nerd this endearing. Rachel Weisz's character Evelyn is how I wish I came off in real life instead of the acne ridden, accident-prone dork that I am.
An all-around bastardization of history
I saw a YouTube comment railing about how these movies don't accurately portray the history of ancient Egypt. But to be fair, if you're turning to “The Mummy” franchise for historical fact, it's your own fault. The movie opens with a ridiculously dramatic prologue that reminds you of a ghost story from a childhood sleepover. It's what you wish your 5th grade history textbook actually read like.
This character is fantastic. Watch the movie and you'll understand.
This character is also fantastic.
Need I say more?
One-liners that are so delicious that you’d choose them over guac if they were food
This movie, as you'll see, is basically a tribute to the Indiana Jones franchise. So obviously, its catchphrases have to play on the same level as "Why did it have to be snakes?". It is my humble opinion that “The Mummy” rises to this challenge.
A villain that just won’t quit
An action movie is only as good as its bad guy. Even though the mummy's minions are the ancient Egyptian equivalent of the putties from “Power Rangers,” the main mummy is a Bo$$.
I've heard that the 2017 Mummy reboot did poorly. In its defense, the original was just too awesome to beat. Watch it now, thank me later.