It Took Until My Senior Year To Realize I Might Want To Go To Grad School

It Took Until My Senior Year To Realize I Might Want To Go To Grad School

I don't think I have learned enough yet.

222
views

School was never something I disliked but it also was not something I was super excited for. I went to good schools growing up, had great teachers and made excellent grades. I was a good student but I also knew that someday school would come to an end.

As high school came to an end I bounced around ideas of what I wanted to. Not one of them involved being a professor at a university or a teacher at high school. It was not meant to come off as me thinking these positions were not good enough for me but rather I felt I could never live up to the teachers and professors I had loved and learned from.

I knew that I could teach and help students but that was only half of being a teacher, the other was being a role model and shaping them into a better person if they needed it. That's what I was nervous about and that was why I never thought about continuing education. I believed I would never make potential students better as students or people. However, this idea simply became just an idea. I should not let one idea in my mind stop me from attempting something and that has not stopped me before but as I think about life after college, graduate school and even a Ph.D. is looking more and more like a better option.

Graduate school was never on my mind when I got to college. I sometimes flirted with the idea but I also stated how I could come back to school after I make a decent salary. I wanted an opportunity to pay with my money or apply for scholarships. I flirted with the idea but it was never anything concrete. I seemed to go back and forth, but finally, there was something that made me consider graduate school: my decision to change my major.

I was always set to graduate a semester later and in my senior year, I made the biggest choice of my life by changing my major. I was struggling in my old major and I was afraid that if I continued to struggle it would disrupt my passion for education or not motivate me to graduate. A year later I can say that this was the best choice for me and it helped me recapture my love of learning.

In my new major it became common for people to be thinking about graduate school and I got me thinking. Some of my friends had already taken the GRE or were in the Accelerated Master's Program. I was not jealous or angry that I did not take the opportunity but it shined some light and got me thinking. What if I did go to graduate school? There was no harm in studying for the GRE or talking about it with family and friends. I brought it up to my parents and they respected my idea but I wanted to know what my professors would think.

Since changing my major I have kept a great relationship with many of my professors and I have a good level of comfort about certain questions. When I asked two of my professors they stated how it would be a good idea and that I should consider graduate school.

Five years ago I would not have viewed graduate school as continuing studies. I would have viewed it as more school and would be unsure if I needed it. I can say that now my perspective is different and I see graduate school as a way to focus on a subject that I love. I know that if I do want to be a professor I have a long way to go but I know that I have some great motivators that I can surround myself with and ask for help. I don't want to be like my professors, I just want to be the best me.

Popular Right Now

Working With People Who Are Dying Teaches You So Much About How To Live

Spending time with hospice patients taught me about the art of dying.

61363
views

Death is a difficult subject.

It is addressed differently across cultures, lifestyles, and religions, and it can be difficult to find the right words to say when in the company of someone who is dying. I have spent a lot of time working with hospice patients, and I bore witness to the varying degrees of memory loss and cognitive decline that accompany aging and disease.

The patients I worked with had diverse stories and interests, and although we might have had some trouble understanding each other, we found ways to communicate that transcended any typical conversation.

I especially learned a lot from patients severely affected by dementia.

They spoke in riddles, but their emotions were clearly communicated through their facial expressions and general demeanor, which told a story all on their own.

We would connect through smiles and short phrases, yes or no questions, but more often than not, their minds were in another place. Some patients would repeat the details of the same event, over and over, with varying levels of detail each time.

Others would revert to a child-like state, wondering about their parents, about school, and about family and friends they hadn't seen in a long time.

I often wondered why their minds chose to wander to a certain event or time period and leave them stranded there before the end of their life. Was an emotionally salient event reinforcing itself in their memories?

Was their subconscious trying to reconnect with people from their past? All I could do was agree and follow their lead because the last thing I wanted to do was break their pleasant memory.

I felt honored to be able to spend time with them, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was intruding on their final moments, moments that might be better spent with family and loved ones. I didn't know them in their life, so I wondered how they benefited from my presence in their death.

However, after learning that several of the patients I visited didn't have anyone to come to see them, I began to cherish every moment spent, whether it was in laughter or in tears. Several of the patients never remembered me. Each week, I was a new person, and each week they had a different variation of the same story that they needed to tell me.

In a way, it might have made it easier to start fresh every week rather than to grow attached to a person they would soon leave.

Usually, the stories were light-hearted.

They were reliving a memory or experiencing life again as if it were the first time, but as the end draws nearer, a drastic shift in mood and demeanor is evident.

A patient who was once friendly and jolly can quickly become quiet, reflective, and despondent. I've seen patients break down and cry, not because of their current situation, but because they were mourning old ones. These times taught me a lot about how to be just what that person needs towards the end of their life.

I didn't need to understand why they were upset or what they wanted to say.

The somber tone and tired eyes let me know that what they had to say was important and worth hearing. What mattered most is that someone who cared was there to hear it.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

13 Meme-Worthy Graduation Photo Poses, For When The Same Old Same Old Gets Boring

Professionalism is dead, but memes will live on.

25
views

Welcome to the Stony Brook University 2019 Commencement. Everyone wants pictures to commemorate their huge success of making it through years of being in university. But while you can always take pretty pictures, it's 20 times more fun to take unconventional pictures. So grab some friends and put on your best meme face to replicate these meme-worthy graduation photos.

1. The Graduate

Introducing our subject for today, graduating with a major in psychology, Alyssa! This fun-loving and cute as a small rabbit girl is perfect for pulling off exciting poses. Start off with a pose that best represents who you are!

2. The Graph Me Like One of Your Calculators

Horizontal photos > vertical photos.

3. The Sidekicks

Make sure you recruit some henchmen or friends to look inferior while sitting next to you so you can look like the boss you truly are.

4. The Creeps

Utilize your henchmen in every way you can.

5. The Creeps 2.0

Again, show off your friends who aren't graduating. Who said the photos have to be all about the graduate?

6. The Jesus Died For Our Sins

From Writing 102 to graduation photos, religious archetypes will never leave you.

7. The Jump Slightly So It Looks Like You're Being Taken By Aliens

Terrifying.

8. The Unlocked Character

Turned out dark in a photo? Just say it was intentional. You still need to get to Level 2020 to unlock this special character.

9. The Waterbender

All you need is a fountain and shamelessness to pull this one off.

10. The I Wish My Friends Were Coming With Me

When you're younger friends aren't graduating, the best you can do is pretend they are.

11. The Fancy

Look up "Fancy" by Twice. You'll get it.

12. The Pseudo-Dad

Your friend-parent hybrid can help you make sure you look your best when taking photos.

13. The Pole Hugger

The trees are dying and this is our future.

Related Content

Facebook Comments