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23 Thoughts Every Retail Employee Is Guilty Of Registering

Sadly, if you know, you know.

Kristyn Park

Jul 23, 2018

West Chester University

401

23 Thoughts Every Retail Employee Is Guilty Of Registering

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I paid my dues to the food industry for the first five or six years of my life, and just this past year, I've taken the plunge into retail. It's definitely been different, but I think the experience has been a positive one...for the most part.

Like with any job, retail has its snags, and with those snags come those darn intrusive thoughts that nearly every retail employee has had at some point:

1. "There is a rack for you to put your clothes on RIGHT THERE, KAREN."

And yet, she still just throws all her crap on the table for you to deal with :) And everyone else follows her lead :)

2. "I'm not going to buy any new clothes. I have plenty. I don't need anym--WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?!"

3. "I sound like a high-pitched squeaky robot. Who even is customer service me?"

4. "Humanity is terrible and I hate everyone."

Usually thought after a particularly bad experience with a customer or after someone comes in five minutes to close.

5. "Sure...set your things down on the counter in front of me, even though I'm clearly doing closing down this register."

Really. I LOVE IT.

6. "IF I HAVE TO EMPTY THIS HANGER TRANSPORTER ONE MORE TIME."

7. "If there's no customers left in the store, would it really be so bad to close early?"

Sadly, we have responsibilities and standards. Ugh.

8. "Who do these people think they are showing up right when we open? Were y'all waiting outside or something?"

9. "Yes, just leave your clothes in the dressing rooms when you're all finished. It's fine."

NEED I POINT OUT THE GO-BACK RACKS AGAIN?

10. "Did this tag just fall off of something or did someone steal something?"

And do I have the time to go all Sherlock Holmes?

11. "Oh, this isn't so bad right now. I thought it was going to be busy."

12. "SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. MUCH REGRET."

13. "Where do all of our short-sleeves go? Do women buy them all? Is it a black hole? Who knows?"

The mystery that keeps me up at night.

14. "Please just send me to the back where I can drink my iced coffee in peace and not be bothered by anyone."

15. "How much of my paycheck just ends up going back to this store?"

Majority, probably.

16. "If someone put out my hold bag, I will LITERALLY CRY."

Clothes are the only thing that brings me joy.

17. "I better have a good closing team tonight, or I'm walking out."

18. "My fashion sense has drastically improved since I started working here."

19. "It's two minutes past close, please leave now."

20. "My coworkers are dummies, but they're my dummies."

Well, most of them anyway.

21. "Do I have enough time to get coffee before my break ends?? Screw it, I'm getting coffee before my break ends.

22. "This place is my f*cking favorite."

Usually after my boss buys us pizza and leaves it in the break room for us.

23. "Okay, I guess I kind of love my job."

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23 Thoughts Every Retail Employee Is Guilty Of Registering

Sadly, if you know, you know.

In This Article:

1. "There is a rack for you to put your clothes on RIGHT THERE, KAREN."

2. "I'm not going to buy any new clothes. I have plenty. I don't need anym--WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?!"

3. "I sound like a high-pitched squeaky robot. Who even is customer service me?"

4. "Humanity is terrible and I hate everyone."

5. "Sure...set your things down on the counter in front of me, even though I'm clearly doing closing down this register."

6. "IF I HAVE TO EMPTY THIS HANGER TRANSPORTER ONE MORE TIME."

7. "If there's no customers left in the store, would it really be so bad to close early?"

8. "Who do these people think they are showing up right when we open? Were y'all waiting outside or something?"

9. "Yes, just leave your clothes in the dressing rooms when you're all finished. It's fine."

10. "Did this tag just fall off of something or did someone steal something?"

11. "Oh, this isn't so bad right now. I thought it was going to be busy."

12. "SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. MUCH REGRET."

13. "Where do all of our short-sleeves go? Do women buy them all? Is it a black hole? Who knows?"

14. "Please just send me to the back where I can drink my iced coffee in peace and not be bothered by anyone."

15. "How much of my paycheck just ends up going back to this store?"

16. "If someone put out my hold bag, I will LITERALLY CRY."

17. "I better have a good closing team tonight, or I'm walking out."

18. "My fashion sense has drastically improved since I started working here."

19. "It's two minutes past close, please leave now."

20. "My coworkers are dummies, but they're my dummies."

21. "Do I have enough time to get coffee before my break ends?? Screw it, I'm getting coffee before my break ends.

22. "This place is my f*cking favorite."

23. "Okay, I guess I kind of love my job."

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Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

Graduation is coming.

1. The classes you are taking are actually difficult.

2. You probably have a fancy internship somewhere.

3. You and your pals are all of a legal age to drink (even the late bloomers).

4. The future... what is that?

5. Apply, interview, rejection, repeat.

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