Everyone Is Responsible For Their Own Happiness

To All The Girls Out There, Everyone Is Responsible For Their Own Happiness

You are not ideal. Nobody is perfect.

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Your body belongs to you, and no one is allowed to violate it without your permission. If a man forces you to have sex when you do not want to, it is rape. If someone hits you, even a slap, it is violence. No matter whether the man is your father, brother, husband, or lover, no one is allowed to invade your body in any way.

Do not let anyone say that you cannot do something just because you are a girl. It is a bit rough to say, but if it doesn't need "that thing" to do, it is not just for men. If you want to study engineering, study engineering. If you want to beat the drum, play the drum. If you want to play soccer, go to the football field. If you want to love a woman, find yourself a girlfriend.

Many people will ask if you have a boyfriend or not and if you don't, they will feel very pity. It is as if women must have a man next to them to fulfill their mission as a woman. That's silly! You are a perfect, individual and independent person. You can choose to have a single life if that suits you. You can choose to love someone because that person makes your life beautiful, not just to show it to someone else.

In many cultures, there may be people who advise you that women have to wait for men to ask them out because men do not love women who are actively chasing after them If you listen to that advice, you might still be single for a long time. Some men like shy women. Some others like women that are strong and energetic. Just be yourself! Follow what you want, and you will meet the man who loves you for who you are. If you pursue someone who doesn't like you just because you're "active," that person doesn't fit into your personality anyway.

Also in some cultures, you will probably meet a man who wants you to stay at home to do the housework. If you want to spend time raising your children, that's a good thing. If you want both spouses to work and share the burden of housework, that is also a good thing. I already met many women pursuing careers, and their husbands help them by staying at home to do the housework, that is no problem at all. A decent man will listen to your wishes and have confidence in himself to overcome social prejudices about the role of the husband. Both can discuss to come up with a decision together. No one can impose you on their 'ideal woman' model. You are not ideal. And nobody is perfect.

I realized that beautiful women have many benefits. You can learn how to do makeup, use your beauty as a weapon to get what you want. But beauty is not your responsibility. As poet Warsan Shire said: "My existence is not about how desirable you find me." So be beautiful, inside and outside.

If you want to have gender equality, you will have to give up the rights that only women can have. You are not entitled to claim that your boyfriend has to pay for your dinner. If both of you have your career and make money, then both of you should pay. You don't have the right to ask your boyfriend to pick you up wherever you go. You have legs so that you can go by yourself. You are not allowed to make your boyfriend wait for you more than an hour just because you don't know and cannot choose any appropriate clothes to wear. No one is allowed to make others wait for them. But if your boyfriend voluntarily does all the things for you without any complain, then congratulations! You are lucky to have both gender equality and a beautiful relationship.

Finally, remember that you can control your life completely, and whether or not you are happy, it depends on you.

Wishing your life will be filled with peace and love.

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I Hate That I Struggle To Love My 'Midsize' Body

I gained a few pounds, but that shouldn't be the end of the world, yet it is in a sense.

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Junior year of college has been quite the wild ride. I've had the best academic year of my entire life, yet struggled, in the end, to even want to get anything done. I didn't care about a lot of the things that used to matter to me.

I gained weight at the beginning of my second semester and went up a jean size, so half of my summer wardrobe just doesn't fit me anymore, and it's made me feel embarrassed. I went from a size 6 to an 8/10, and while it doesn't seem like a big jump to the average person, it was to me. I don't like looking in the mirror and seeing a bigger pooch than usual, or how my thighs have gotten super irritated because they also got bigger. Chaffing I used to only have in the summer occurred in late January and even scared my inner thighs. It's not cute and it hurts when it flares up. I am terrified to wear my bikinis again because I know they won't fit, and the second I put on shorts my thighs are going to want to kill me if I don't kill them first.

I came to really love my body last summer after struggling through a rough breakup where I stopped caring about myself. I owned myself last summer and as much as I want to again this summer, I'm really struggling with the idea of it.

All I feel like I see on social media are skinny girls with zero hint of a pooch or thick thighs in sight. I've never been a skinny girl and I never want to be, but I can't help but envy the people I've seen online and in person. Of course, what I see on social media isn't really accurate, but it's still been tough to look at these girls who seem like they don't have a care in the world. They can eat whatever they want and still look flawless. They can throw on a bikini and not have to feel like they need to suck everything in so no one sees their pooch hanging over their bikini bottom. As a stress eater who is still too terrified to try on her bikinis, I'm not looking forward to showing my body off when all I want to do sometimes is hide it because I don't feel happy with what I see.

I will always love being a curvier girl and YouTubers like Sierra Schultzzie, Carrie Dayton, and Lucy Wood have given me a new boost of inspiration to embrace the body I have right now. I'm not skinny but I'm not plus sized either. I feel pressure from myself and certain people in my life to be skinnier and not "let myself go." I

'm so happy to have friends who have helped me through my struggles and support me, even when I don't want to support myself. These YouTuber's have opened my eyes to the fact that this body deserves to be loved just as much as my former, smaller body.

I want to love myself with 100% of my being and I hate how much hatred I've allowed to go on inside of me. There is only one me and I need to be proud of her. Maybe she gained some weight and isn't what society expects from a girl, but she's still amazing and has so much to offer.

I wish I could see more girls like me on YouTube or social media offering a representation of my body type, which I hardly ever see. Aerie and American Eagle have done a fantastic job of including different body types and it's been a great help in seeing that they really to make clothes for all types of women, not just a size zero to two. Added representation really does wonders for someone suffering from low body confidence like me.

While I hope to begin my journey into losing a few pounds this summer by jogging whenever I get the chance, I'm not going to put intense pressure on myself to look a certain way. I am single for the summer and exploring life with my best friends by my side. I'm here to be the best version of me that I can. I cannot let negative thoughts about myself to dictate how I feel every day. I am strong, I am beautiful, and I need to love myself and my body as I am.

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What It's Like Being An Introverted Leader

Different people lead differently.

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When you think of the qualities a leader or someone in a leadership position should have, being out-going is often mentioned. However, I don't think that always has to be the case. I've been a part of many different leadership opportunities and programs, yet I'm still the same socially awkward hermit I've always been. Being out-going and extroverted doesn't qualify someone to be a good leader, just like being shy and introverted makes you a bad one, it's about your skills.

When I went to a leadership program at a summer camp, I often heard that I didn't talk very much or I was too quiet and shy for a summer camp entertaining kids, I should have been more talkative. I'd also get a few counselors coming up to be that when they were in the same program I was in, they were also the same things I was and not to worry about it. Even now, I'm still quite and relatively shy person, but that doesn't discredit my ability to be a good leader, or anyone else's.

In my high school ASB (Associated Student Body) class, we took a fun personality test to find out what kind of leaders we were; someone who likes to be in charge, be in the spotlight, more organized, or stay in the background. I got someone who likes to be in the spotlight, which was a surprise to me too, but thinking about it, it makes sense. I'm not overly out-going, but given the right motivation, I don't mind going up to people and striking up a conversation.

I can also say that at some point I have possessed all four of these personalities or traits over the course of my different leadership roles. The reason I'm even bringing this personality test up is that it definitely shows that there are different types of leaders out there, and not all of them have to be extraverted. I tried to find the one I took but couldn't find the exact one, but if you're interested there are a ton of different ones out there.

Over time, I've learned and worked on many valuable skills, like conflict resolution, time management, actually listening to what others have to say, and more. I keep myself up to date with my surroundings and what's going on in the world, and I still meet and hang out with people, when I have time. People grow and learn on their own pace, we should let them without overly critiquing them.

In the end, whether someone is out-going or not shouldn't determine the ability they have to be a good leader, sure in some cases it's better to more extraverted, but it's not a make or break trait. So long as they have their mind in the right place and know how to handle different tasks and situations, it doesn't matter.

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