I am not a responsible adult. That doesn’t mean I am irresponsible – I have a job, I pay my bills, I clean up after myself. But it does mean that sometimes my priorities are a little unbalanced. You see, responsible adults go to bed at a decent hour on the night when they know they will have early mornings. They don’t skip meals, because they budget enough time to eat with. They get up with their alarm clocks. They say “no” to things they may want to do because other things are “more important.”

I on the other hand don’t always go to bed at a decent hour, even when I know I have work at seven in the morning. I don’t always get up with my alarm clock. And I skip meals all the time, because – oops I overslept again. A lot of those responsibilities – or lack thereof – trace back to other people.

Not to make it sound like I’m blaming anyone else, after all no one else controls me, but being responsible would be much easier if the people I cared about didn’t tempt me to stay out too late or make a zillion trip over to see them.

In the past week alone I have made five trips – round trips – to and from Meridian; four of which took place on nights when I had work fairly early the next day. And in my family, you don’t just get together for a few hours and then part ways so that everyone gets a good night’s sleep. No, when we get together we stay together until staying awake is nearly impossible. At which point someone usually gets talked into staying the night.

I know, I know. All I have to do is say, “no.” All I have to do is say “no” and the majority of my struggles go away. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to.

I don’t want to stay in alone when the people that I love spending time with are gathered somewhere else. I don’t want to go to bed when they’re still up talking and just enjoying each other’s presence.

I may not be responsible enough to say, “no” all the time, but I am responsible enough to live with the consequences of my “yes.” Because to me it’s worth it. It’s worth the extra gas money and the hours of sleep that I don’t get. It’s worth the mornings when I have to wake up extra early because I was too tired to drive home the night before.

Life is too short to lose track of the things that are truly important. I've spent enough time letting trivial things like work and school dictate my actions. It's not the grades, the money, the promotions or the titles that matter. It's the people who are there through it all.

If I were to die tonight, I would rather reach heaven penniless and tired, but with wonderful stories to tell Jesus about all the amazing people he blessed me with than well rested, rich, and story-less. So yeah. Maybe I’m not the world’s most responsible adult, but if sacrificing responsibility is what it takes to spend extra time with the people God blessed me with, sign me up for irresponsibility.