Last week I wrote an article about why it’s difficult to get laid at Indiana University as a Jewish sorority girl. I received loads of feedback from the 5,000+ people who read it, most of which applauded me for my bluntness and accurateness of the situation, as they perceive it to be, on campus. My favorite messages were those from past lovers who found the article amusing. One of the best parts of publishing sexposes is when boys from my little black book read them. But, I digress.

I welcome all kind of feedback: critical, angry, constructive, positive, what have you. As long as people are talking about my article, I’m happy. I just want to generate discussion.

The quizzical thing about my article is that despite it having reached different college campuses and sparking conversation among its thousands of readers, it only generated about 100 shares on social media. If so many people read it, how come only 2.5% of them shared it?

Obviously, some percentage of that pool didn’t like what they read, so, of course, they wouldn’t post it on their Facebook page.

Some negative feedback I received:

Um, actually that article was really offensive because I’m Jewish and in a sorority and I totally get laid.

She’s perpetuating the stereotype that Jews are cliquey! It’s not okay.

My open letter to these girls who didn't like the article:

Dear ladies,

Firstly, thank you for reading my article! Secondly, I’m glad you’re sexually active — you go girls! I’m sorry y'all feel offended by my article, it was never my intention to project my personal struggle onto you.

Perhaps your disdain comes from the title of the article, “Why it’s Hard to get Laid at Indiana University.” It makes the sweeping statement that it's difficult for all students to get off, but if you read the entirety of the article it becomes clear that it’s actually just hard for me to get laid at Indiana University. If I had made the title, “Why it’s Hard For Me to get Laid at Indiana University,” no one would have read it, cuz who gives a rat's ass? Ever heard of click bait? News flash: no one cares why a random senior can’t get laid – but a whole lot of people care about why 40,000 students can’t get laid.

And now to address the remark that I am perpetuating an anti-Semitic stereotype: bug off! Jews are cliquey, and it sounds like you have a personal problem with your identity.

Yours truly,

Arielle Kaplan


Some positive feedback I got:

Your article is on point as fuck…

That legit peered into my soul. That was the most spot on thing I’ve ever read.

That was the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Tears are rolling down my face.

Despite their love of the article, these people didn’t share it because...

My conservative grandparents would faint if they saw this on my feed.

I don’t want people to think I can’t get laid.

I don’t have your balls, I wish I did.

My open letter to these fans who didn’t have the courage to share the article on Facebook:

Dear ladies,

Thank you for your sweet comments and for checking out my article – you rock! I understand your apprehension to share it and pair your name with something so obscene. You’ve got family members on there for Christ’s sake! Could you imagine your grandmother even thinking that you have sexual relations? The very same grandmother who had sex with your grandfather to give birth to your parent who also had sex to create you? It would be blasphemy!

So you don’t want people to think you can’t get laid – I get it; the title makes it seem like you’re having that issue as well. My advice to you: quit being so self-conscious, get your head out of your ass, and share whatever you damn well please.

You don’t have the balls to share it? I didn’t have balls when I wrote it – I had ovaries.

Last week I heard the renowned sex therapist Dr. Ruth speak at the Bloomington Sex Salon. At 88, she’s still imparting her wisdom to promote discussions about sex, an integral part of human life. One of the women who introduced Dr. Ruth was Peggy Orenstein, a New York Times bestselling author who recently published “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated.”

Orenstein said that what her readers — mostly comprised of mothers of teen girls — want most is a written out dialogue on how to talk about sex with their daughters. She said the reason they want that script is because no one ever talked to them about sex, so they never learned how to educate the next generation.

That’s what’s embarrassing. That us Americans live in a society that’s paradoxically too embarrassed to talk about the very subject that it’s saturated in — sex.

I am not afraid to talk about important aspects of my life that others can learn from and relate to. I am not scared to discuss a subject that plays an integral part in everyone’s lives. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a sexual being with wants, desires, wishes.

I am embarrassed that you’re embarrassed to embrace and openly discuss a subject that is the backbone of our very existence.

Having “balls” is slang for having the courage to do something. I resent my friend so much for telling me that she doesn’t “have the balls” to write something so revealing about her personal life as I did. I don’t need a man’s genitalia for courage, I used my own.

So, ladies, I leave you with this: stand up for your granddaughters and grow a pair of ovaries. Talk about sex with your friends, engage in masturbation and share my article. As Michael Jackson once sang, “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”

Yours truly,

Arielle Kaplan.