I am not sure how familiar you are with the self-proclaimed Christian marriage blog "The Transformed Wife" but I have been marginally aware of its existence for a while now. A friend of mine recently sent me an article that had just been posted on the blog's Facebook page. My friend has periodically sent me posts from this blog when she gets frustrated and needs to discuss them. This particular post was titled: "Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos."

The article proceeds to list reasons that women should be virgins, debt free, and tattoo free so that men will want them; mostly focusing on not going to college.

Sexual Purity

First off, I agree with her statement that Christians are called to follow Jesus Christ in how they live their lives and that one of these aspects is sexual purity. However, simply because someone is not a virgin does not mean that they have permanently fallen from grace with God and are now "damaged goods" forever doomed to be avoided by men. Far from it in fact.

Some people don't become Christians until later in their life after they have already lived a life of sin. Some people are victims of sexual assault, and through no fault of their own, they have been deprived of any decision regarding their virginity. And sometimes people just sin. But God's grace is enough to cover any sin of those who repent and heal those who have been hurt, past, present, and future.

If God can forgive you or heal you from any personal sin or from being the victim of someone else's sin, then a truly Godly man will forgive and be empathetic as well.

Debt-Free

While debt is described as a burden in the Bible, and in Proverbs chapter six the author tells his audience to do everything they can to get out from under their debt to others, nowhere does the Bible say that it is a sin to be in debt. Debt can be crippling and limiting, but you are not outside of God's will just because you go into debt.

However, the blog post seems to have the most problem with women actually going to college and learning to think for themselves, rather than solely the debt accrued at college.

Summarizing here, much of what the blog post speaks about under this section seems to indicate three things: 1. Women should not learn to think for themselves because this causes them to be independent and not meek and quiet. 2. All of a woman's life should be focused on preparing for having a husband and having babies. 3. Women cannot understand the Bible with her own reasoning but must have a father or husband present to explain it to her.

Assumption 1: Women should not learn to think for themselves because this causes them to be independent and not meek and quiet.

If, as the author of the blog post seems to believe, women are only to ever be mothers, wouldn't they be better mothers if they are educated and can think? Also, having children later in life is not the horrible affront to motherhood the author seems to think it is. Is it not better for a child to have more mature and assumedly more financially stable parents?

While children are biblically viewed as a blessing, it is not more biblical to have as many babies as you can, especially if you are unable to properly take care of many children. Would it not be better to have a few children who are well taken care of than many with mediocre care?

Additionally, many women will never be married or have children. Are they to spend all their time waiting and stagnating for something that may never happen? Paul calls single people to not chase after relationships but to focus on serving God (1 Corinthians 7:38.) Would a higher education not help women as they serve God?

Assumption 2: All of a woman's life should be focused on preparing for having a husband and having babies.

Women are called to serve God with their lives. This may be in the form of wife and mother. But biblically, women are called to so much more than solely being food and baby makers as the blog post purports. They are called to teach younger women, share the Gospel, and live for Christ. While Proverbs 31 is not a laundry list that every Godly woman must complete, it is a good example of what a Godly woman will look like. And she is quite industrious and business minded. Obviously, an intelligent woman who can think and make decisions on her own, alongside her husband rather than her husband controlling and dictating (teaching) her every move.

Assumption 3: Women cannot understand the Bible with her own reasoning but must have a father or husband present to explain it to her.

Men don't have a corner on the truth simply because they are men. God, and by revelation the Bible, not a father or husband, is the source of truth. The blog post also says that women can only trust their husbands and fathers in interpreting the Bible for them, not books and other preachers. This utter reliance on the interpretations of others about the Bible, even a father or husband, is in itself unbiblical as it is a canonically lauded exercise to actively question the teachings of all people against what the Bible says (Acts 17:11) rather than blindly trusting the teachings of humans.

In reality, studying the Bible is a community exercise. The community often influences interpretation but can also course correct individuals who have faulty interpretations, men and women alike.

Tattoos

Beyond including 1 Peter 3:4 which says that Christians should focus on adorning the inward person rather than the external person, the author didn't really talk about what her reasoning for including tattoos as a no-no if a female ever wants a relationship. It kind of seemed tacked on. So I don't really have much to say about this. But I am sure that just about every girl with tattoos doesn't want a guy who can't look past the physical person to the internal person, tattoos, stretch marks, scars, etc. included.

I could say a lot more in response to this article, but as a woman, and as a Christian, I am ultimately called to bring glory and honor to God and to live in a way that pleases him. We are definitely not called to please men or cater who we are to fit what they want. We are to become more Christ-like, not to fit the stereotype of a "good Christian girl" that is being imposed in "Men prefer debt free virgins without tattoos" which takes biblical principles and distorts them while adding legalism. The end goal of a Godly woman is not to be a wife or mother. The ultimate goal is to be Christ-like, which may or may not include marriage and motherhood. But ultimately, my purpose is not to be what a man wants, but rather what God wants.

For another good response to this article, check out YouTuber Katie Emmerson's response here, and her YouTube channel here. Though we focused on some similar things I really appreciated her unique perspective.

Disclaimer: There are more issues with this article than I included above. I hit the big ones but I ran out of space. I don't necessarily agree with the parts because I skipped them or left them out. Use discernment when reading anything and hold it up against what the Bible says.