This article is a response to “I’m Not A Feminist, And That Is Okay” by Amanda Jayne Sankey.

Dear Amanda,

I am a feminist.

And I am so proud to say that. My mom was a little surprised when she found out I was fiercely feminist. When she asked me when I became a feminist, I responded, “Well, I’m a woman, so I guess I’ve always been a feminist.” But I didn’t always know exactly what feminism was.

I’ve always strongly believed in fairness and equality. My parents told me that when I was younger, I used to make sure that everyone got a turn when we played. Now that I’m older, I have channeled my sense of justice toward feminism. I strive for the equality of everyone in the world, regardless of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. That is feminism.

I respect the fact that everyone has the right to make their own decisions in life, but today, in regard to feminism, I want to make sure everyone is making an informed decision.

Let me start by saying I'm not the voice of feminism. Everyone has different views and opinions, and each individual will interpret feminism differently. But feminism is a movement of solidarity. It unites people of different backgrounds and beliefs who share a common goal — equality. Frankly, if you say you’re not a feminist, you probably don’t know what it means.

Feminism (n.): the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.

If you believe that people should be treated equally, regardless of gender, you’re probably a feminist. If you believe that women deserve equal pay for doing the same work as a man, you’re probably a feminist. But the movement is so much more than that. The reason that articles like “I’m Not A Feminist, And That Is Okay” are problematic is because they don’t always portray feminism accurately. I am of the mindset that everyone should be a feminist because it means treating everyone with fairness and striving for a more equal world, but I will fight to ensure that you have the right to express a different opinion.

There are a lot of misconceptions about feminism, and I would like to take this opportunity to dispel some of them.

Feminism is not man-hating, although it is unfortunately often associated with this. Feminism is not female domination. Feminism is not only for women. Feminism is not shaming those who choose to be stay-at-home moms or those who cook for their husbands. Feminism is fighting for the right to choose.

Feminism is taking a stand when you witness sexism or discrimination. Feminism is intersectional. Feminism is inclusive and accepting. Feminism is fighting for those who are oppressed. Feminism is, at its root, equality.

If you choose to stay home with your kids, take your husband’s last name and love to cook for your family, I absolutely respect that. All I ask is for that same respect if I don’t choose any of those things for myself.

Amanda, I would like you to know that it's completely possible to be both feminist and traditional. I'm not trying to undermine your traditions and values by not participating in them. I do not participate because although things have changed in many parts of the world, some traditions you mentioned originated as methods of oppressing women.

For example, the tradition of a man asking the father’s permission to marry his daughter exists because daughters were considered the property of their fathers. Women had to take their husband’s last name because the “ownership” of that woman transferred to her husband. This tradition has evolved into an act of respect more than a requirement of marriage, but I personally choose not to participate because some women in the world are still forced into marriages as if they were property. I hope you can respect my choice not to change my last name as much as I respect your choice to do so.

In your article, you said, “The man is to be the provider, protector, and leader of his family. That is a lot of pressure. And I don’t understand why feminists want to take it on. Why would you want that?” Well, I want that. I want a career and I want to be able to support myself. I personally do not believe this responsibility lies solely on the shoulders of the men. This is one example of how feminism is beneficial to both men and women. Men should be allowed to be nurturing parents and women should be encouraged to pursue careers, without either being questioned for their choices. I want to defy stereotypical gender roles placed on men and women because they can be confining to those who feel they do not fit expectations. I do not think there is one right way to be a man and one right way to be a woman, and that is beautiful.

I see you argue that we don’t need feminism anymore, but unfortunately that’s far from the truth. Women are still objectified on a daily basis. White women are paid 78 cents to the dollar of what men are paid, and this disparity only increases for black (64 cents), Hispanic (54 cents) and Native American (59 cents) women. And the worst part is, these things barely scrape the surface of why we need feminism in the world because they only represent the concerns of the privileged. Although the boundaries of the different waves of feminism are hard to define, we still need the present wave of feminism.

The newest wave of feminism focuses on the violence, harassment and murder of women on a global scale. Intersectional feminism discusses how racism, sexism and other oppressive systems are interconnected. Audre Lorde, a renowned poet and feminist, once said, "I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own." It's important to acknowledge that the issues of feminism are much broader than your personal experiences so that we can work toward a more inclusive and representative form of feminism.

The fact of the matter is that women are not treated equally, and I want to be a part of the movement that changes that. If you still choose not to call yourself a feminist, that's okay. As I said earlier, everyone has the right to make their own decisions. I hope you know that identifying as a feminist doesn't prevent you from participating in your traditional values, but it aims to open up that choice for women all over the world.

Sincerely,

A feminist