A Response To "To The Ladies: Put Some Clothes On!"

A Response To "To The Ladies: Put Some Clothes On!"

Stop judging women based on the opinion of men!
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I keep seeing opinion pieces about how a woman should behave, dress, carry herself, speak, post on social media, and so on by women authors in opinion-pieces. I know some people think that women should dress and behave a certain way (based on societal gender biases that women should be dainty little flowers and men should be ax-hurling he-men who hate kittens and love beer), and though everyone is entitled to an opinion, when said opinion uses "how men will feel" as the basis for an argument against how women should dress, your opinion is no longer valid.

The most recent article that led me to this rant is entitled To The Ladies: Put Some Clothes On! Outside of being generically judgmental and close-minded, the author's argument is based on weak claims that a woman should dress a certain way because of how men will think of and treat her as implications for her choices.

Excuse me, what?

The author writes a very long paragraph about the DOs and DON'Ts of being a woman in modern society - in the eyes of male approval.

She says: You can wear what you want; it is your body. But don’t expect your boyfriend to approve.

I say: Why the fuck would I be dating someone who dictates what I should and shouldn't be wearing? You start your statement off with "it's your body," then proceed to tell me it isn't by virtue of what my boyfriend will think about my clothes. If he's making a judgment about who I am as a person if I decide to wear a cage-front tank top on a hot summer's day, I'm sayin' bye-bye to him and going out to buy a brand new top to wear tomorrow.

She says: Don’t expect his parents to approve of you. Don’t expect to have a lasting relationship when you dress like you aren’t in one.

I say: It sounds like you're projecting your personal issues a little too hard here, honey. I'm sorry your current or past boyfriend's family didn't approve of how you dress(ed) around them. Next time your boyfriend's parents have a problem with the way you dress, kindly tell them they can buy you an entirely updated wardrobe so you don't hurt their sensitive little eyes. :)

She says: Don’t be surprised if your boyfriend isn’t happy with the fact that other guys are flirting with you when you are out in public because of the message your outfits send to guys.

I say: Hold the fuck up. If my boyfriend is THAT insecure about other guys looking my way based on what I'm wearing, it sounds like I need to ditch his controlling ass ASAP. The flirting part? Sure, I get that. But as long as you're not actively flirting with people who are flirting with you, what's the issue? And excuse me, the "message [my] outfit sends to guys"? Please. My outfit isn't for any fucking body but myself. If a guy looks my way while I'm wearing an outfit that makes me feel like a million bucks, so be it. Those same creepy dudes checking girls out in miniskirts and sheer shirts check girls out in midwinter, bundled up to their necks in parkas. It's not about what a girl is wearing; it's about how guys will leer at a woman regardless of her outfit.

She says: Don’t be surprised when your boyfriend breaks up with you because he is not okay with how revealing you dress.

I say: Stop projecting your personal life onto other women!!! We get it, your ex was a piece of shit who broke up with you and blamed how you dressed around his parents and in general as an excuse to end the relationship. But damn girl, get over it! If he's that fucking concerned with the clothes you wear on your back, you're better off without him anyway. Shit, you probably didn't like his Crocs or "FBI, Federal Boob Inspector" t-shirt either, but did you tell him to change? Thought so.

She says: Don’t be surprised when guys hit on you inappropriately and make rude comments towards you when you and your girlfriends go out for lady’s night.

I say: First off, it's *ladies. Second, CREEPY DESPERATE GUYS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO HIT ON WOMEN REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY'RE WEARING! And it's not the woman's fault! But hey, you have options here on what to do if this happens (that have nothing to do with the clothes you or your friends are wearing, wow!).

1. Tell those creeps to leave you alone! SPEAK UP! If you say nothing to someone who makes crude comments about your body or outfit and don't call them out on it, you're allowing their behavior to go unpunished. Sure, you can't stop them from being a creep in general, but you sure as hell can tell them to stop being a creep to you.

2. Stop going places where creepy dudes linger. And since they're everywhere, if you feel that uncomfortable, go somewhere female-friendly and avoid guys who might make comments you don't like.

She says: Don’t be surprised if an employer does not want to go through with hiring you because the company’s HR department found some raunchy photos of you online.

I say: MAKE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS PRIVATE. Also, an employer who's judging you based on your bikini pics from your family cruise to the Bahamas is probably someone you don't want to be working for in the first place.

She says: Do not be surprised by any of this because all of this will be the results of the pictures you post with you in revealing clothes.

I say: What do you deem revealing? A bikini? A pair of shorts? A sheer top with a bra underneath? Frankly, it doesn't matter. And frankly, it never should.

Every single "reason" or cautionary explanation for why the author thinks women should censor their bodies is based on her concern regarding men's opinions of women. In fact, every reason given for women to censor themselves is based off of very obvious personal experiences this author has dealt with. And to that, I say, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you've been told what you can and cannot wear by a controlling ex-boyfriend with judgmental parents.

I'm sorry that creepy men leer and make comments at you and your friends while you're just trying to have a nice night out.

I'm sorry that you think your personal experiences are 1. acceptable behavior for people to project onto you, and 2. a basis for judging and shaming other women into living a lifestyle you've been forced into.

But mostly, I'm sorry that some women still think that their value is derived from a man's opinion about them - or anyone, for that matter. But here we are in 2017, a time where women still think their value or lies in the hands of a man who may or may not be judging the actions they take and the clothes they wear.

In reality, who the fuck cares?

See, someone's going to judge me based on the fact that I swear in this article. Someone else is going to judge me and say that I must have no respect for myself because I don't care what a man thinks about the clothes I choose to put on my own body. So fucking what?

People's opinions about your clothing or life choices shouldn't put a damper on how you live. I look at it this way: unless you're buying me the clothes and have ownership over my body (which nobody can actually have over somebody else), then you don't get to have a say about what goes on my body.

No man's judgment is going to be the basis for how I live my life. I do not live for what a man thinks about my clothes, what his parents think about me based on the clothing I'm wearing, or what anyone thinks about my wardrobe. I don't live life based off of what other people think of me. And you shouldn't either.

But hey, since I don't have any control over your life and personal choices, my opinion doesn't mean a damn thing.

(And neither does yours).

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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5 Inexpensive Websites For Summer Clothes

If you are looking to online shop for your summer closet, check out these stores.

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Summer is here and so is a whole new category of fashion; high waisted swimsuits, mom jeans, graphic tees, chunky sneakers, and many more styles that have become popularized in 2019. If you are trying to save some money while keeping up with the latest fashion trends, online shopping on the right platforms is a great way to get the most bang for your buck!

Listed are the five most cost-effective online stores that each have their advantages and disadvantages so you can spruce up your summer lookbook. The best way to get the most clothing items on these online stores for the cheapest is to search for promotion codes online and take advantage of any email sign up deals, student discounts, and general sales they are currently promoting.

1. Zaful

If you are looking for a very cheap option so you can put the most in your cart, Zaful is your best bet. This store is stocked with everything under the sun including swimsuits, tops, bottoms, jewelry, shoes, hats, and more starting at 4.99. Zaful offers 15% off of your first order as well as free shipping for orders over $49, so you can fill your cart with more items than you think you are paying for.

2. Nasty Gal

Nasty Gal is a great store for quality items that will live a very long life in your closet. Although the prices seem high at first glance, the online platform has constant deals occurring such as their current 50% off everything sale as well as their 60% off everything for students sale. Nasty Gal is a great brand to build your closet essentials due to the great condition and material of their clothing items.

3. Pretty Little Thing

Pretty Little Thing is a great online store to shop for summer events because of their beautiful dresses and tops. I recommend purchasing occasion wear from this brand because a lot of their loungewear and regular items are overpriced for what they are worth. In the sale section of Pretty Little Thing, you can find many dresses and dress pants for over 55% off. If you are looking for a few fancier outfits for summer occasions, check out the sale section of Pretty Little Thing to get some nice looks for cheap.

4. Misguided

Misguided is an online store that has a unique vibe in the clothing they sell that is worth a browse because of their eccentric and fun styles. The platform has recurring sales that range from 25 to 50 percent off, which allows you to get twice the amount that you pay for. If your style includes graphic t-shirts, oversized t-shirt dresses, and good quality loungewear, Misguided offers great quality items with low prices to spruce up your summer outfit aesthetic.

5. Boohoo

If you love rocking matching sets and co-ords, look no further that Boohoo for the best patterns, styles, and prices. Boohoo usually has a 50% off sale going on, which goes a long way when you can purchase a matching two-piece set for as low as $20. Although Boohoo sells beauty products and accessories, their sets and outfits are the best items to get your money's worth in quality and quantity.

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