Since Justin Bieber decided to "retire" at the whopping age of 20, he has gone from a literal hero to a flat zero. Where was the last time you saw him literally anywhere? On the radio? Nope. On TV? Nope. He literally crawled under a rock that probably cost him a couple million bucks, and decided to never come out. Unless you follow him on Twitter or Instagram then I guess you sort of know what this retired old fella is doing with him time. He is hanging out with Kanye, the Jenners, and Hailey Baldwin.
Since it has been about eight weeks since the Calvin Klein "bulge pic," he has been MIA until now. Three days ago, he posted a picture of himself poolside. He seemed to be holding some type of metal bar? A scale? Maybe it was a Segway? Beats me, but regardless of whatever it was he was holding, there is no doubt that he's holding onto something in his nice little fedora. Oh, and just when you thought Justin Bieber was a goner, he came back at you with this epic Instagram caption, "Great Birthday [crown emoticon] and I'm not fat it's the angle."
Excuse me?
First of all Mr.Bieber, you look a little soft, but fat? LOL. Second of all, I'm glad you cleared it up to your 23.5 million followers that you are not fat because it's super important that we all know you are not overweight. Third of all, thank you for the caption because I, along with people around the nation, will be using this caption in the future, so thank you and goodnight.
Oh, and to all of his fans, don't worry about his weight, because two days later he posted a picture of himself working out, doing pull ups! Ah, J.B! You got us! You're not fat! Haha, you trickster!
The fact that Justin Bieber is a a 21 year old millionaire who hasn't had a solo song in probably two years and feels the need to clarify that he's not fat is insane. Honestly, though, I'd give anything to be a 21 year old millionaire who is retired and has to claim that I'm not fat. If having to claim that you're not fat to the 'tweens of America means that I'd be rich and famous and retired at 21, then I'm in.
