We’ve all been told, whether by friends, family or society as a whole, of the irrefutable importance that respecting one’s elders carries. As a product of the American southeast, a region that enforces this notion with a particular strictness, I’ve had 20-plus years of experience in the realm of a good “Yes, ma’am/sir” and nod in agreement with someone dependable and double my age. What’s more is that I fully support the concept of respecting your elders; I simply believe that humility plays a key role here on both sides of the spectrum.
As I’ve grown older, slipping out of my teenage years while simultaneously sinking into the first stages of adulthood, something has become increasingly clear to me: your elder, even if twice, three times your age or even in possession of a higher socioeconomic status, does not have some innate right to belittle or dismiss your opinions and self-defense on the mere foundation of “elder respect” at all remote costs; this isn’t authoritative. It’s distasteful, and it’s manipulative.
To provide a sound example of just exactly what I’m talking about, take those good ole’ politically-driven Facebook debates. Just shy of several weeks ago, in fact, I had a rather rough encounter with a middle-aged family friend (who possessed particularly childish grammatical skills, might I add). The person in question hissed negativity toward me in a virtual sense when I only expressed my opinion on a post regarding peaceful child punishment, taking jabs at my 90s born, Generation Y existence. They continued on to make hints at the idea that I was disrespectful toward those considered my “elders," simply because I was articulating a different opinion. Simply because I was unafraid to speak my mind and challenge the pre-conceived, Baby Boomer notion that old-fashioned whippings solve misbehavior in children. My bad.
Call me crazy, but I’ve finally come to the mental conclusion that it’s only fundamentally right and rational to treat those all around you with respect. Sure, a person of youth should show special respect toward those much older than them, but self-defense is vital to self-confidence, and a skill that should never be undermined successfully by another human being, whether they’re 8 or 81. It’s only right to build on the positive vibes of the people around you, and I don’t see how anybody could put a label of rebellion on that.
What’s more is that if a person of elder authority simply opens their eyes and/or ears to assertive, yet kind and inviting youthful voices, they might learn a thing or two that challenge fundamental, close-minded notions of old school America. Changing world views can be a threatening concept to say the very least, but think about it in the long term… both elder and youth can learn something about the essence of humanity that they never thought possible.
So, where am I going with this?
Well, to the elders of us purgatory adults and teens, I implore you to not write off our assertion of open-minded opinions and new concepts of emotional freedom as careless defiance; let’s trade some values, and let’s open some minds.
