Graduating high school and moving out to college on your own is one the most satisfying feelings of growing up. You have this new sense of freedom you never had while living under your parent's roof. What you do with this freedom is completely up to you. Hopefully, you keep yourself in control and are able to make the most of living on your own and becoming an adult.
However, at some point, most students return home, whether it's for an entire summer or just a couple weeks, this is basically inevitable. It can be a hard adjustment for some after not dealing with your parents for a year.
After my first year of college, I thought I knew what life was. I thought I had it all figured out and that I didn't need to listen to my parents. I was the boss of my own self and no one could tell me what to do.
I learned pretty quickly after coming home that this still wasn't the case. My parents definitely still ruled the roost. I was pretty damn frustrated dealing with them; I didn't want to listen at all. It wasn't their business who I was going out with or when I'd be home. I was my own person and I could handle myself.
I stayed out until two or three in the morning regularly living on my own, why couldn't I keep doing that? They couldn't control me, I didn't need a keeper anymore. I was an adult and they couldn't do anything about it.
I put up the fight for the first couple times I was home. I wasn't budging from my stance that I didn't need them breathing down my neck. I continued to do what I wanted with no regards for what they had to say.
The turning point for me was when I turned 21. I had taken a year off of school and celebrated this milestone while still living under my parent's roof. They weren't naïve, they knew I had already drank before. (I had to ask to borrow money to pay my fee for getting an underage drinking minor.) They knew it was happening.
At this point, they started asking a lot more questions when I would go out. I legally could get into bars now and they didn't want me to get into any sort of trouble beyond a minor. I was annoyed like any freshly 21 year old would be. Like let me have my fun mom and dad.
But then I realized something: my parents aren't asking me these questions or asking me to be home by a certain time to ruin my fun. They only want to make sure I was always safe. What would they do if something happened to me and they didn't even try to keep up with me? It would be horrible for them.
Sure, when I'm at school they have no control over what I'm doing or who I'm with. It must be nerve wracking not knowing what is going on. Suddenly, I knew I couldn't be annoyed or frustrated with them anymore.
They loved me. That's all it came down to. They wanted to make sure they did everything to keep me safe. As I get older, I appreciate this more and more every time I come home. I can't be mad at my parents for asking who, what, where, when, and why. I answer them every time and make sure they know I'm going to be okay.
Maybe sometimes I omit some details they don't exactly need to know, but I ensure them that everything is going to be okay. I'm with people I trust and nothing bad *should* happen. They know my whereabouts and who I'm with in case they can't reach me and that puts them at ease.
It's so much easier to just comply with your parents' wishes while you are at home. It also helped me realize that maybe I'm not as grown up as I think. I still have so much to learn and it would be terrible to lose my parents respect over something as stupid as going out.
I definitely don't know everything about being an adult and living on my own. I still need my parents on a weekly basis. My mom probably gets sick of me calling her all the time to ask basic questions. The older I get the more I realize I do need their support and help. Honestly, without my parents I would probably be dead in a ditch some place.
Yeah sure, I can't do everything I want to do while I'm at home living with them. But that's OK, I've accepted the reality of growing up. You can't know everything the first year, hell even the first couple of years, you live alone. In the long run, they only want me to be safe and I can't possibly be mad at them for that.
So all I'm trying to say is, respect your parents when you go home for break. They want the best for you and that's why they nag and neb on you. They ask questions to make sure you're safe because they care. Don't try to act all tough like you know everything. You don't — I can promise you that.
It's definitely a hard adjustment, and remember, you are not the only one adjusting. Your parents no longer have you around on a daily basis either. While not everyone experiences the same thing once they return home, if this does happen to you, remember why it's happening.
It's OK to want freedom and to become your own person. No one is, hopefully, trying to take that away from you. Just remember that you've never had kids move away for college, you don't know exactly what is going on in your parents mind. Keep an open mind when you come home for break.
Be respectful and keep the rules your parents wish to implicate in mind; they're doing it for a reason, after all. It might not be an easy thing to accept but eventually you'll realize why things are the way they are.
