It's Okay If You're Not A 'Group of Friends' Kind Of Person Because Friendship Is Earned On Its Own Merit

I know that however much I explain this, I'm never going to get through to some people. They're going to label me as "rude" or a "loner." But hear me out.

Friendships take a lot of patience and one-on-one interaction to build. People have different standards for what they consider a friend, but a friend is someone who you can trust.

Friends are not necessarily who you see the most often, or the people who are also friends with your other friends. Someone could get along perfectly with your other friend, but for some reason they really can't get along with you. You can have spent lots of time around someone growing up, and still not be friends.

Respect comes before friendship. Respect is little things, like respecting someone's personal space or the values, however mundane, that are important to them. It's okay not to agree with someone's values. But if I don't agree with someone's values, then I don't expect friendship from them. You shouldn't expect friendship or a high level of effort from someone, if you have not put in a high level of effort towards them.

That being said, it bothers me when people expect friendship, personal details to be shared, or the like, when respect has not been maintained, or built at all. There's a reason why some friendships fizzle out and some last for ages. And that's often because with the ones that fizzle out, there was no strong foundation in the first place. Trust was given before trust was earned. Or because one person catered to the other person's needs, and got fed up when the other person just seemed to take without being grateful. Eventually, the giver gives up, because they haven't gotten much in return.

All I'm saying is to keep this in mind when you feel like you have to be friends with someone just because you're "supposed" to or they expect you to, because they're friends with so-and-so who you're also friends with. You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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