I have not made a New Year's resolution since I was eight years old. I remember sitting on the couch, watching the ball drop, and being told to make a goal for myself. As most declare, I stated I would be more kind to people and not get mad when my little brother interrupted my playtime. I was so certain in the moment that this would stick and I would be the best big sister in the world, but after a couple weeks, I remember angrily sighing when my little brother wobbled his way into my room again. There's a sense of disappointment when you break a New Year's resolution, almost as if you never really had what it took to change, so why keep trying? However, I think that issue is the fatal flaw to resolutions. We see everyone around us promising to change, to be better, and yet we have no drive behind our words, no desire to see real progress because it was all based on a calendar.
Resolutions should not belong in the New Year, just as thankfulness shouldn't just occur around Turkey Day (and the contradictory Black Friday), or the presence of giving only around Christmas. The holiday season is jam -packed with good intentions, but the execution leaves much to be desired. If one person really wishes to change, it won't matter if it is January 1st or July 27th, as long as they keep working at the change, not giving up when they "relapse" into an old behavior or grow weary. The fact is, resolutions weren't designed to be a once a year tradition, neither were gift giving or thankfulness. Holidays make it easy to believe that if you are especially generous during the holidays, you have sufficiently met your generosity "quota," perhaps even enough to receive good karma in return. The same goes for resolutions. Whether you decide to make them at the beginning of a new year or not, change was designed to be implemented over time and better yourself because you have a desire to see personal growth, not because "well, everyone else was doing it." However, if you are one of the few who desires true personal growth this time of year, perhaps going a little more realistic would best suit your tastes.
The realistic goals you set will be far more satisfactory than any outlandish, out of character you've dreamed up in the past week. Instead of trying to lose 50 pounds in a month, volunteering with every organization in the greater metropolitan area, or going out with friends five times a week when you're happily an introvert, consider a more personal goal. Set goals for yourself based on your interests, your availability, and your personality. If you'd like to get in shape but hate running, try doing yoga, pilates, or a mix of some other exercise routines that you will actually enjoy and motivate you to become healthier. In this same vein, I can promise you that taking all sweets out of your diet or switching suddenly to being a full-time vegan or going cold-turkey on coffee will be a lot harder than it looks. Trust me. Instead, gradually cut the food or drink out of your diet in order to adapt easier to your new diet. Chances are, you'll be more likely to break your resolution if you implement change all at once, so at least this way you can savor your guilty pleasures while they last. Resolutions should involve you staying true to yourself, and if you really wish to cut out television, work out, be more social, or get involved in the community, taking on small projects over time will produce a higher self-esteem and a stronger drive to create lasting change in yourself.
Finally, while I do not personally believe in New Year's resolutions, I do believe in the little changes a person can strive towards on a daily basis to create a better life for themselves. Call this an all-year resolution if you will, or perhaps just a plain old goal, but either way, I like to remind myself that in all my selfishness and day-to-day complaining, there is good I can help to create. I aspire to be well-read, and continue to read a library's collection twice over before I'm satisfied; I want to remind myself to smile at people suffering from homelessness everyday, whether on the side of the road or in front of a store, because they're people in need of human companionship and love, too; I want to hold my friends' hands when they cry and celebrate with them when they're successful; I want to hike and explore the world around me when I can, although I realize that sometimes it is just nice to sit and mindlessly watch Scandal for a time, too; and finally, I want to continue to work everyday at curbing my tongue so that I do not say something that will hurt another, something I know I struggle with daily.
Perhaps these are resolutions and I really am following the herd, but these little goals remind me of what I can do daily to improve my own life and lives of others without thinking outlandishly and becoming discouraged. The truth is, resolutions and change are hard. It is hard to push yourself to create change when you are reminded of how many times you have failed, but with each failure comes a new understanding of your limitations. We don't all feel comfortable running marathons or spending entire weeks volunteering our time. Yet, we each possess certain strengths, and when we use these strengths for the right reasons, real change can occur.
