Success is something everyone strives for, but it is exhausting. Success seems so close when you first start, but then you hit challenges along the way and want to give up. Every college student knows this to some extent.
Last semester (Spring 2019) truly tested me in more ways than one; I actually wanted to quit. I didn't feel smart enough, I was failing two classes, and I got really depressed. Failing tests and quizzes would make me feel even worse. For much of the beginning of the semester, I felt lost. I felt like I had fallen down into a hole that I couldn't dig myself out of.
For once in my life, I felt like I should just give up. But a little voice inside of me told me that I couldn't, not yet. With the support of my family, friends, and boyfriend, I realized that I should listen to that little voice.
I turned up the volume of the small voice inside me that told me to keep trying. I turned down the others. I started telling people how I felt (which helped way more than I thought). I started therapy again. I realized I needed to make a conscious effort to take care of myself, and that meant not skipping ANY appointments, even if I had to take off of work.
My F in physics stressed me out. I wanted to withdraw, but that voice in my head kept telling me to stay. I listened.
Guess what? I turned it into a B- at the end of the semester. I truly believe that if I hadn't addressed the problem, I would have failed. The truth was that I was simply too overwhelmed to study. My failing grade said nothing about my intelligence.
I'm also happy that I decided not to withdraw from Calculus II as well because I ended up with a B at the end of the semester. I worked my butt off, but I made sure to continue to watch my mental health.
Balance is possible. Once you start reminding yourself of why you are doing this, things get a lot easier. Why do you want to be a journalist? Why do you want to be a physical therapist? Why do you want to start a business? Answer that question and keep it in the back of your mind. You will get there, with time.
Ask for help if you need it. I am scared of next semester because it's going to be hard, but I KNOW I can do it.
I always remind myself that if I can survive this semester, I can definitely survive the next ones. So can you.
As my cover photo says, keep triene! I love puns!
