When do we get to the part when representation is more than black and white. That shades have meant more than the two and spread through the entire spectrum of color, when you see the heightened success of black people, the happiness overwhelms you, it scares you, it builds you. And then I had the thought, "When do Korean people get treated more than math nerds or gamers?" When does our success lead to more than hair salons and teriyaki restaurants in K-Town.
The lack of representation, to bring me hope, has made me lose my ambition in my own dream. An English teacher. How does an Asian girl become fluent in English and get hired in this category? I don’t know, but I work hard and my mom pushes me to learn english to continue my desire. How does she go from a misplaced ELL student in elementary school to a English student at Pacific Lutheran University? Another unanswerable question because I was never assigned ELL, I was just placed in for a day or two for 30 minutes, and then I was back in class. And when did she dream to teach it? Well, I dreamed to teach it when I realized how helpful it became to the people around me.
How do I find hope in a career in something I have never found representation in? How does one become a writer when there has been no famous Asian successor before them? How do you learn to be an example when there are no examples to help you continue your path? And to these questions, I am clueless, yet I am still hopeful to learn and learn and learn, so I can teach people everything I learned.
When can women be part of something? When can Asian women be part of something in America without being fetishized as needy and innocent. When did a woman teaching become bossy rather than informative? Maybe I’m just a crazy feminist, but there should never be a time when the same words become more wise if a man says them, rather than a woman.
When do I get to live in a world where I have someone to look up to without suppressing other ethnicities. When does representation matter?
