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Inauguration To Be Headlined By Freecreditreport.com Band

They've been brought out of retirement by one person's simple request.

Tucker Atwood

Jan 17, 2017

University of Maine

Inauguration To Be Headlined By Freecreditreport.com Band

Youtube

It has long been speculated, but now it is official: the band from those annoyingly catchy Free Credit Report commercials will play at this Friday's presidential election! We sat down with the band's frontman, Eric Violette, and had a conversation about the esteemed honor.

ODYSSEY: So Eric, thank you for coming in. You must be fairly busy right now with your musical success.

ERIC: Nope, not really. Haven't done much in the past five years.

ODYSSEY: Amazing. So what were you thinking when you got the call, when you realized that you would be playing music for an entire country?

ERIC: I was, well, confused at first. Definitely confused. Actually, yeah, I'm still confused. That's still how I'm feeling.

ODYSSEY: Really? How incredible! Follow up question: could you loan me some money?

ERIC: Oh, well, no. No, I can't.

ODYSSEY: Yeah, yeah, I know that. I just figured, you know, with the good credit score, you know, but it's all good.

ERIC: I was just portraying somebody in those commercials, that wasn't--

ODYSSEY: Yeah, I get it. Just, you know, if you ever find yourself with a good amount of cash, you know where to--

ERIC: I really don't see myself in that type of situation--

ODYSSEY: Eric, I didn't call you in here so that you can blow me off like this, I thought we were friends--

ERIC: What? No, we just met--

ODYSSEY: You know, I could make this story look terrible. I could make it look like you support him.

ERIC: You wouldn't.

ODYSSEY: I've been working on my Photoshop skills lately, and let me tell you, I've gotten pretty damn good at them.

ERIC: Yeah, I saw the one with Putin wearing hats, that was really good.

ODYSSEY: Really? Oh. Well, thank you, that, well, that means a lot to me. Thanks.

ERIC: You're welcome.

ODYSSEY: So, can we...?

ERIC: Listen, I'm at a different point in my life now...

ODYSSEY: Just this once?

ERIC: No--

ODYSSEY: Do it for Bernie.

ERIC: Okay. Okay, fine.

ODYSSEY: ...They say a man should always dress for the job he wants...

ERIC: ...So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?

ODYSSEY: It's all because some hacker stole my identity...

ERIC: Now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea...

BOTH: Shoulda gone to freecreditreport.com,

ODYSSEY: I coulda seen this coming at me like an atom bomb,

ERIC: They monitor your credit,

ODYSSEY: And send you email alerts,

BOTH: So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts!

ODYSSEY: Anyway, thanks for coming in today.

ERIC: Yes, thanks for having me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Entertainment

25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

SUNY Binghamton

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Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

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Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College

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college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

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Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

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Inauguration To Be Headlined By Freecreditreport.com Band

They've been brought out of retirement by one person's simple request.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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