To the woman in search of a man,

Don't be the girl who needs a man, be the girl a man needs. Girls who claim that a lot of guys are after them should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.

You are not one of those low-price, clearance sales though. You are strong, you are capable, and you are worth the extra mile.

Be the type of woman who doesn’t need a man to be happy. Be the type of woman who doesn’t ever need a man to breathe clearly.

There are so many things we can do instead of responding to unwanted attention from a guy who's playing games (aka a f*ckboy). Go get a tattoo, a new job, work harder in school, go out with your friends, travel the world, take a drive... I don't care. But don't stick with a boy just because you have nothing better to do. Just because he is persistent, doesn't mean you have to listen. And if he thinks his persistence automatically earns him anything, he's wrong.

Recently, I've noticed that in most cases, when a guy talks to me, he's looking for something... and he isn't looking to hold my hand. But what he doesn't see, is that I'm not a toy. I deserve respect and I am perfectly capable of saying no to someone when I don't feel as though their intentions are right. I refuse to wait around on a man who will drop me whenever he gets bored or a man who will only talk to me when it's convenient for him. I am allowed to show my shoulders, wear short skirts, and dress however I want. I should not have to follow a dress code in order to avoid provoking you. I am an equal. I will be treated as such.

We are hardworking, dependable, and smart women... not a prize you can take home from a shelf of options.

A common misconception about dating nowadays is that yes, it would be nice if a guy bought us dinner, helped us out, and picked flowers for us, but no, we don't NEED them to do it. Women in today's society are capable of so much more than sitting still and looking pretty. I may be speaking for myself on this subject, so pardon me, but I can pick my own damn flowers, thank you.

I want authenticity and genuine respect, not a catcall.

I'm going to dwell on one boy in particular here for a sec, the boy who acknowledges me most often when he's drunk. On a weekly basis, I look down at my phone and find a text from him. It's typically over the weekend and after he's had a few drinks with "his boys." In these drunk texts, he asks me on dates and proceeds to profess his true feelings towards me. Then the next day, it's as if we never had the conversation at all... Confusing right?

Other times, he drunkenly invites me to things last minute and then tries to sweet talk me into coming over after I've said no because he's already drunk. I'm definitely not in the wrong for not wanting to take care of him like his mom. Sorry not sorry boy, but I refuse to be your booty call. Even if it isn't anything inappropriate, I'm not going to allow myself to simply be your "last-minute option."

So girls, be the type of woman who finds worth in herself without validation from other people... The type of woman who loves herself without needing love from anyone else. Be the type of woman who never chases someone who isn’t chasing her back. You deserve more; wait for it.

Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that I need to stop sacrificing myself and my needs for people who do not love me or respect me in return. I need to stop running after people who don’t even look up when they hear my footsteps pounding on the pavement. I have finally come to realize that I don't need a boy who doesn't need me.

I refuse to continue to sell myself short. I am good enough on my own.

So, to the girl who is terrified to stand up for herself and work hard for herself, here I am, holding out a welcoming hand of encouragement. Give yourself more credit. Prove to yourself that you don’t need to be in love to have a happy, healthy life.

And show yourself that you will not only survive without him, you will flourish like no other.

Prove to yourself that you are just as worthy and wonderful without someone else standing by your side. You don’t need him, I promise.

Sincerely,

A girl who's not any man's half-time, down-time, spare-time, or sometimes