I have had more than my fair share of jerky guys come into and out of my life. Jerky guys do not have to be those who break your heart in a romance-affiliated relationship, although admittedly they do constitute a large majority of what many girls (myself included) remember. So, in honor of International Women’s Day being this week, I thought I would take this time to give the “blemishes” on our male population some reminders from all of us women.
1. I do not exist to please you.
Earth-shattering news here, I know… the world does not revolve around any singular person. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is not, “Wow, what can I do with myself to make [fill in the blank] happy.” You don’t like my new hairstyle? I’m sorry… did I ask? I think it’s awesome. You don’t like it when I fire back with sarcasm to one of your stupid, self-centered remarks? What a pity; maybe I didn’t like your commentary either. You don’t like my writing? You probably don’t understand it. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen my friend.
By the same token, if I do something that makes you “happy,” chances are that was an unintended side effect. I’m so glad that you like my heels, but I wore them to make me feel good-- not you.
2. You are not God’s gift to humanity.
I don’t care how attractive you are, what your career is, or how expensive your car is. You are one person in a great, big world full of many incredible humans. Check yourself.
3. Cut the crap with the sexual comments.
It’s not charming. It’s not funny. It’s disgusting, and it proves how shallow and small-minded you are. How I am sitting is not sexual. What I am wearing is not sexual. If that is every other thought that occupies that pea-brain of yours, you truly have a problem.
4. You have absolutely zero right to make unwarranted advances on anyone, ever.
You are not entitled to anything, or anyone, in life. It is not within your rights to ogle a woman, to comment on her appearance, to touch her. What a woman is wearing is not an invitation. A friendly demeanor is not a signal. Now, yes, there are times when compliments are nice. There is just a far cry between, “Wow, your new haircut is really pretty,” and catcalling a stranger as they pass.
5. No. Means. No.
I thought that because we live in a progressive, advanced society, this point would be crystal-clear by now. However, I know from experience that there are many people who still do not seem to understand the word “no.” If a woman is not showing signs of being interested (real, actual signals of flirtation), leave her alone. If a woman tells you she does not want to cross a given boundary, you make sure you stay two steps behind that boundary if need be. You may not attempt to coerce someone with words or actions. And, let me be explicit: you may never, ever physically try to “have your way.” That is assault.
Before you even think it: I am not here to insult the entire opposite gender. There are so many wonderful men out there. And of course, women have their copious faults as well. I just wanted to address some concerns I, and so many other women, have with the “bad seeds.” When in doubt, all I ask is that you pause. This is someone's sister, daughter, granddaughter. Think before you act.
