I consider myself a rather dependable and good person, for the most part at least, and over the years I've always been one to always lend a helping hand to whoever needed it. With friends and family, they all know I would do anything for them, bullet in the chest without a second thought; I'm always in their corner. At work, I've always excelled easily being someone my boss can depend on for anything, and in turn I move through the ranks swiftly. I work hard for everything I've gotten, and because of this I've kind of forgot to take care of myself.
I know I have people to depend on as well, but being a very independent individual I scarcely ever ask for help, I'd rather just do it myself. Which I'm realizing now has had some ugly fallbacks to it; not asking for help when I'm in over my head, shutting others out, lashing out when said others try to help, and occasionally cast a darker limelight upon myself.
But lately I've come to find I don't need to do so much alone, and if something does bother me or I am getting in over my head I need to speak up. Bottling things up and trying to handle everything on my own just isn't working as well as it once did. My problems have grown with me, becoming more complicated than just figuring out who was picking me up from basketball practice in time to get to Sydney's house for girls night with all my friends and still managing to get my chem homework done.
Now I have to juggle three jobs and work schedules, car payments, laundry has be done at some point because god knows I can't keep buying new clothes, managing to see at least one of my friends, maybe work in an hour of family time, and I have to sleep at eventually! Being an adult and having all these real responsibilities is hard to do by yourself; especially when you've been doing it alone for so long you no longer know how to ask for help and put yourself first. When you longer know how to make yourself a priority.
I've come to find I need to make time for myself between work and seeing people, and focus on what I need to do for me; even if it's only 30 minutes. At least it's 30 minutes of pure me time, even just to lay down. Putting myself first doesn't always mean neglecting others or my work.
I'm learning to work myself into my schedule now and I'm a lot happier because of it. Putting myself first means taking care of my physical and mental health, which means eating right instead of take out everyday and sleeping enough. Maybe get the occasional workout in, and mostly making sure I'm communicating with the people in my life is key.
Putting myself first is one of the hardest things I have to do but it benefits more than just me, but the people around me because it helps them see I'm still only human and I need to take care of me and sometimes need others help. Always make a point to take time for you, because only have one life and you can;t live it if you lose yourself.
