Breathe it in - the anguish, the anger, the unrelenting need to release it all out of your lips. Take a step back - make it worth it, make it sane. Lists - those make sense, turn it all into something else. Let it go and then let it be, move forward and feel the sun on your skin. You cannot change what has happened, or what someone else has said, you have to live in the moments of now and prepare for the future.
One.
Perfection -
the beginning of insanity.
the portrayal of who
what
how
and why.
perfection.
Something I do not aspire to
a word not ribboned
around my flesh.
Not reachable
not comprehensible
not real.
Two.
Neutral -
your face
your voice
action.
A word so foreign in nature.
to be nothing
to appear as if you feel nothing.
flat.
unwavering.
obtuse
Containing the emotions hiding beneath the surface
Unapproachable.
something to not be.
someone whom you'd never speak.
somehow you'd never wonder
what's lying at their feet.
curiosity
as if something were to be wrong.
neutrality
not a kindness
a disease.
Three.
Control -
hold it in
contain the madness.
grasp tighter
thin liner
transfixed in the dark.
somehow never ending.
a fit never filled
a line never sunk
a time unknown.
cannot collect it.
cannot force it.
to never allow the little moments to happen.
to never feel the change in the air.
control
your worst nightmare.
my biggest fear.
contain it not
life comes at its price.
Four.
Unpredictable -
a sway in the leaves
can falter,
no
not falter
flatline.
suddenly decent becomes
horrendous.
kind becomes
cruel.
happiness becomes
venom.
whiplash when no one is riding.
timewarps when no one is moving.
tattering what could only be
a facade of what was
and what will always be.
Five.
Broken -
shattered images
of school children relishing in happiness.
tattered
streaks of life running miles across your skin.
fallen pieces
fallen... faltering... tattered... ending
too gone to be seen.
too hard to feel.
too lost to find peace.
beyond damaged -
point of no return.
shell of a person
lifeless
endless
devoid
gone.
too broken to find it
too strained to see
too far gone
too blinded -
if only...
if only you could see.