No, hookups don't help you find your soulmate. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Dating

Finding Your Soulmate Really DOESN'T Require Hooking Up

Do what you want, but I think we're missing the mark.

391
Finding Your Soulmate Really DOESN'T Require Hooking Up
https://unsplash.com/photos/vptuRAtlLX4

I recently saw a post on VSCO that read, "you can't find your soulmate if you don't make out with strangers." It was widely reposted by various users of the platform and seemed to be garnering a great amount of attention and appreciation. But for me, the college freshman who has never once believed in the so-called "hook-up" culture… My first thought was, what? I'm supposed to dictate who is worth my time emotionally and physically by first judging them on a physically intimate basis?

Look, I understand it's college. And in college, students of all ages hook up with fellow classmates and people they meet at parties. I will never try to shelter myself and say it doesn't happen because I know damn well it does.

But the idea that you're supposed to find the one through engaging in physical activities with random people you meet seems to be missing the mark a bit, at least in my opinion. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned for believing this way, but hear me out.

It's one thing to pursue someone you find attractive. It's something else entirely to engage in otherwise private physical activities with someone you've just met. There is more respect involved in getting to know someone as a person at least a little bit before deciding that you want to be intimate with them.

No one wants to be taken advantage of or used. And at the same token, no one wants to make themselves physically or emotionally vulnerable to someone they just met, and then get dumped days later. Yet those are the kinds of conditions that I'm afraid the hookup culture is perpetuating. Chances are, the person you're hooking up with is engaging in such activities purely for the physical aspect.

Hooking up is easy. This idea likely explains why so many people participate in it. It's immediate gratification without having to develop any level of trust or love in your partner first. So I beg the question, why would you expect someone to stay with you if their first conquest was the physical aspect of you? More often than not, you probably won't talk to the person again, and if you do, things could get complicated knowing that you already had some degree of sexual interaction with them.

Let's forget about the future nature of the relationship with the person you hook up with. Think about strictly yourself. In this day and age, people like to turn to networks such as Instagram to instantly share photos from the beach, their latest selfie, and so on. Hey, I am even guilty of doing it. But we depend so much on the short-term validation we receive from social media and hookups that we become confused when we suddenly don't feel that confidence the day after we post that picture, or the day after we hook up with that hot guy at the party.

True confidence and validation take months, if not years, to build up. It stems from emotional support from family and peers, a strong sense of belief in oneself, and the ability to push yourself to become who you are truly meant to be. These values come second to the reward we receive when we hook up with that random person. That person hasn't learned who you are as a person and how strong-willed you are. All they care about at that moment in time is the immediate pleasure they receive from you as a physical being. So again I ask, how the hell is that person "soulmate" worthy in the first place?

Related Articles Around the Web
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

128
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

446550
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

19932
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Moana's Top 10 Life Tips

"Moana" is filled with life lessons that involve far more than finding true love as many other Disney movies do.

43377
Animated image of a woman with long dark hair and tattoos
StableDiffusion

1. It's easy to be fooled by shiny things.

Digital image of shiny gemstones in cased in gold. shiny things StableDiffusion

Tamatoa created a liar filled with shiny things simply for the purpose of tricking fish to enter and become his food. He too experiences a lesson in how easy it is to be tricked by shiny things when Moana distracts him by covering herself in glowing algae so Maui can grab his hook.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments