There's a largely misunderstood concept among all those who have never been in a long-term, serious relationship. This concept is being stuck in that relationship, with that person, forever.
If this idea seems foreign to you, allow me to set the scene: You're an incoming freshman at your university and everything is great. You have a great schedule, great friends and family support, and your high school sweetheart that you've been with for three years. Life seems great to onlookers, but you find yourself constantly weighted down by your significant other. This is an odd sensation because you two have been inseparable since the tenth grade and they used to make your stomach drop just by seeing them. But now, the relationship seems to be more of a chore. Most often when a person begins to feel this way, they decide that they are over reacting, or that it's just a phase and to truly love someone you have to make the choice every day to love them. I hate to burst that bubble, but there is no remedy, excuse, or cure for this feeling. You have simply out grown your partner. In young adults, it seems impossible to remove yourself from this because it seems safe and secure. What would we tell our partner? How would we explain this feeling to friends and family? So they haven't necessarily done anything wrong, but you just don't feel that connection anymore.So why do we push these feelings aside and ignore them? It's quite simple we stick ourselves in these situations because we are conditioned to believe that if it once made us happy and secure that it always will or it always can. Once we have found a comfortable state we as humans are afraid that if we disrupt that state that we will never find it again; therefore, no matter how the situation evolves we remain still.
Take the analogy of the frog and the pot of boiling water; if you place a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will immediately jump out. However, if you place the frog in cool water and slowly increase the temperature to boiling, the frog will remain in place and unintentionally commit suicide. Don't be the frog that has gotten used to the water. For your sake and the sake of those involved, jump out of the pot. Not only will it evade the constant anxiety of being stuck with someone that you aren't sure you want to spend eternity with, but doing it sooner rather than later is only fair to the other person involved. Keep in mind that it will be hard for everyone involved, but if you are aware of these feelings, take my advice and don't ever stick yourself in this situation. Even if the reasoning for ending the relationship only makes sense to you, you are always most important.You are the one who will have to revisit these feelings of weariness concerning the relationship and your own happiness if you chose to endure it. If you feel trapped or uneasy now, imagine how you will feel twenty years down the road if you continue this unwanted relationship.
