Why Your Relationship With Your Parents Improves

Your Relationship With Your Parents Changes Over Time, Here's Why

Four ways in which your relationship with your parents change from age eighteen to twenty-two.

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Over spring break I had time to think about all the different ways in which my relationship with my parents has changed throughout college. We've definitely had our ups and downs, but as graduation grows closer, I take time to note how far we have come. From freshman to senior year of college I have undergone a drastic change in how I appreciate my parents.

At eighteen, I wanted to get as far away from my parents as possible. I was going to college in order to be independent, study, and hopefully make a career for myself. Nothing could stop me and no one could give me advice. I was stubborn and hungry to explore the new life that awaited me. I didn't realize how hard it would be being on my own for the first time ever. I had never even been to camp let alone moved to a different state not knowing a single soul. I was happy for the new opportunities but quickly realized how much I had been sheltered. Initially, I resented my parents for my little life experience going into college but as the years have passed I realized I can't be so immature to put my lack of knowledge on them. As an adult I now make things work and advocate for myself. Your struggles as an individual humble you so you can come back together better and stronger than before.

Here are some ways in which the relationship between you and your parents change:

1. You don't live together 24/7, so you appreciate time spent with them.

When you're not sharing a space with your parents and they are not there to nag at you about chores, you finally get to know them as people. As an adult yourself you begin to relate to them in ways that weren't possible in childhood.

2. You realize what is worth fighting over and what is not.

You have learned how to live on your own and set boundaries. As an adult, you come back home knowing what can be improved upon within the relationship and what are things you can let go.

3. You have experience with adulthood now and can understand how really great they are.

Adult struggles are real and now as someone older and wiser, you have experienced a great many. You then begin to realize how your parents took on all these responsibilities plus the responsibility of raising/providing for you. You don't know how they did it, but suddenly you're mad at sixteen-year-old you who fought them on everything.

4. They are your biggest support system in wanting you to achieve your dreams.

There is no one quite as invested in your dreams like your parents. When you have no one to turn to and nothing to give you that extra boost of motivation, parents are there. They may not be perfect but they love you more than anyone so call your parents.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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A Thank You Letter To My Dad Whose Love Is Unconditional

I love my mother to death but trust me on this one...I am just like my daddy.

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Dear Daddio,

Without you, I would not have the common sense to do half the things that I know how to do. I would not know how to change a tire or even check the fluids in my car. But shoot, why do it myself when I can just ask you to do it for me? You may say no, but you come and do it anyways. Thank you for always being there.

I can count on you to help me with anything. Even on your off days, you are not really actually off. I ask you to help me all the time with the craziest projects. You do not even question it, you just help. I love that about you, dad. You always help everyone you can without a question. You are the type of man who would give your last dollar.

I also love how you come up with the craziest things to do. You get into these moods and you just do something crazy and go for it. When it is beautiful outside, we just sit and talk about anything that comes to mind. It is one of my favorite things to do with you. Thank you for always being there.

Momma always says how I am just like you. We always say the craziest things and joke all the time. Not to mention, we both cannot hear worth a crap. Whenever mom is trying to talk to us, she gets mad because we can not hear anything. Our TV's are always at max. volume. It is a real struggle, huh? We both love everything chocolate. You know I always share my dessert with you...even if I do not want to. I know you would do the same for me.

You are the calmest person I know. Even if the most stressful situations, you are so calm, cool, and collected. I wish I was more like you when it comes to that. I always tell you the things I want to do and no matter what, you say the same thing every time. You tell me how proud of me you are and you tell me to do whatever makes me happy. Thank you, daddy, for always being so supportive in all walks of my life.

You are by the far the most hardworking man that I know. Like I said before, even when you are off, you are not really off. You always stay working. Whether it is cleaning around the house or working in your garden, you never sit still. You say that you can not wait to retire, but I do not see you taking off. Thank you for showing me how to be a hard worker and how to provide for my future family. Without you, I would not have half the things I have in my life.

Thank you pops for this life that I live. I would not be where I am without your love and support. Thank you for all the help around the house and all my car troubles. I know that I can tell you anything without any judgment. I am sure whatever I say, you will support me.

I love you to the moon, daddio.

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