"The idea of seeking contentment alone is heretical, for society steadfastly decrees that our completeness lies in others." ~ Lionel Fisher, 'Celebrating Time Alone: Stories of Splendid Solitude'

I’ve always been a strong advocate for independence; maybe it’s just the Aquarius in me. And even though I love the feeling of sovereignty, I also love the feeling of being with someone. But don’t we all?

We all want someone to feel like home. Someone we can come to after a tiring day of work, someone to keep us safe when the merciless weight of the world seems to be caving in. Someone to care for, and someone who cares. But sometimes, being with someone is worst thing you can do for yourself.

Last summer, a relationship of mine fell apart within a matter of minutes and for the life of me, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t understand why it happened and I didn’t want to even contemplate the idea of my life moving forward without him in it. And though it was undoubtedly the bleakest time in my life, it also taught me the grandeur of being an individual. The truth is, lingering in a destructive relationship is easy; it’s the getting out part that’s tough.

When you’re comfortable in a relationship, even the ones where you’re fighting on a daily basis, it takes so long to convince yourself to leave. It’s your wasteland and you’re relishing every minute of it. You have your 'person' and you’re so proud that you have someone! But why are you so proud to have someone if they make you yell or cry or drink or lose sleep over? It could be because of societal pressures, pressures from your family when it’s Christmastime and they squeeze your arm and ask, “so where’s your other half?” or maybe it’s just because of the simple fact that you’re too damn scared to be alone. You don’t want to wake up to a new day without having your 'person.' And to this I ask: Have you forgotten that you’re your own person? Why do you need your ‘other half?’ Are you not capable enough of being whole on your own?

Maybe your relationship is great and you’re just going through a rough patch. If that’s the case, then by all means, do whatever it takes to make amends and get back on the right track. But if you feel burdened by your relationship, if you argue more than you laugh, something isn’t right.

If you’re inching closer towards the door every day, but you never actually leave because you’re afraid of what’s out there: stop fearing what you don’t know. Give yourself the opportunity to thrive. Let that new opportunity be teeming with experiences, different places, and different people.

Invest yourself in a few of these things that you enjoy. And when you’re roaming in those new experiences, let them change you. Realize that ‘different’ is not synonymous with ‘inferior.’ You know your current situation and you know you’re not as happy as you want to be. Chances are, you’re going to be one hundred times happier when you finally muster up the courage and walk out.

And I’m going to argue that your full potential of living is waiting for you right outside that door.