As I sat a table during lunch with my best friend, we got onto the topic of relationships and boys. Because are you really best friends if you don’t talk about boys? We discussed how we have a love-hate relationship with boys because one minute they’re our knight in shining armor and then the next they are our worst nightmares.
Throughout our discussion, there was one statement that really stood out to me. One statement that I was aware of but never really chose to accept until it was actually spoken out loud.
Relationships are a game and if you want to win, you’ll have to practice.
This hit me. It dawned on me that in today’s society we’ve settled for what it means to want, or be in a relationship. Is it true that there are rules and guidelines to follow when it comes to talking to the opposite gender? Are there sidelines, where if you go out of bounds the other person gets to choose what happens next since the ball is in their hands?
Somehow we have to be seen as these perfect beings without any type of flaw or baggage we may have upon even just meeting a crush for the first time. Is it us, as the individual, that is unaware of our reality so much that we must hide our true selves for as long as we can, or it is the other person who is living a lie in a world where their crush should have zero imperfections? Either way, it's saddening that the majority of our society and culture today relies so heavily on first impressions and social media representations.
When did relationships become defined by efforts, how prepared we are, or how well we play our cards rather than for the individual, love, and intrinsically good qualities that we need to discover about one another?
“I can’t text them right now since it’s too early (or too late)” and/or “I’ll wait a few minutes to open his Snapchat so I don’t seem needy” are just two out of the hundreds of different "plays" that we make in order to strategize our next move. Do these moves overall become the practice that we need in order to "level up"?
Relationships are what you make of it. If you make relationship decisions solely based on superficial efforts and looks, that creates a very unrealistic standard, expectation, and definition of your relationship.
So if you're going to practice, practice taking time for yourself. Practice being single and developing as an individual. As a society, we need to start living from a different perspective:
Relationships are not meant to be won but rather to be real.