We've all been there. You're feeling jealous for one reason or another, but you know that you trust your partner so you say something like, "It's not you I don't trust it's that other skank I don't trust." Of course, insert your own pronoun for the other person.

But I've been thinking, is it the case where you just don't trust either person, or is it really the other person, or is it the situation? I believe a little jealousy is healthy it keeps things popping, but there is a line to cross and that line is not pretty. So, how do we accept our own insecurities and then deal with these jealousy issues?

First you need to admit you have some insecurities. For example, my wife and I don't get much "alone" time, so when she has her friends over I start to realize the lace of effort I put into getting more alone time and I blame her and the other people for me being a shitty wife. Or sometimes they are just over here too damn much and I get mad and communicate ineffectively which makes me look like a controlling jealous wife, when I just want people to leave us alone for awhile.

Second, try to communicate your feelings once you recognize the issue. Hell you could just feel jealous because you feel jealous. Communicate that. Try not to act out in a negative manner. It does not work! Trust me. No matter how many fits I throw, it does not change the fact that my wife has friends. It shouldn't we are grown-ups and she is her own person, she can have a life.

Third, realize that you can either accept a situation or not accept it. Decide if this jealousy is too much. Does this make or break you because your partner wants to play video games with their friends? Or do you trust your partner to go to the strip club? If your feelings could end your relationship then you need to reevaluate your position in the relationship.

Fourth, let go of the control you want to have in the relationship. If giving your partner the opportunity to have their own life (with some stipulations of course, I mean relationships are about compromise), but if you just never trust that your partner can make the right decisions for you and them, then that control is too much for you to let go and you need to then go forth with the misery you will feel in your relationship or surrender your control which could help you both out in the long run, it's your decision, just don't be the crazy one.