Every so often, a plague sweeps the University of Florida campus that sends all students running to the infirmary right before finals. Even if you have narrowly avoided hitting the infirmary -- through arduous consumption of DayQuil -- these are some thoughts that you may have when spending time there.
1. Wondering why they keep handing you Gatorade
The invention of Gatorade is definitely bragging rights -- add it to the list of things we have over FSU. However, you can’t help but be skeptical when they hand it to you for everything. Bronchitis? Gatorade. Common cold? Gatorade. Back pains? Gatorade. Pretty sure it’s not helping, yet you take it anyways because you’re not going to deny free things.
2. Listening in to other people’s problems and sipping that metaphorical tea
If you are at the infirmary, good for you -- you are taking care of yourself in some form, regardless of what you are there for. While commendable, you may find yourself judging others in the waiting room. Some people look perfectly healthy and you wonder why they are there. They speak in hushed voices to the apathetic desk lady, who cares less if your mom finds out that you got tested for an STD.
3. Getting that hot med student and wanting to kill yourself
When you’re sick, the last thing you are doing is putting any effort into your appearance whatsoever. Pictured: you trudging in, decked out in sweats and a messy bun. Also pictured: your name being called by an attractive doctor who probably has his/her life together. That moment when you have to demonstrate your cough to them? Tragic, to say the least. You just killed your chances with them (not that you had any), but it’s fine, all is fine.
4. Trying to remember what color patient you are
You get the idea that there’s over 50 thousand students at UF. However, the color thing still gets confusing. You can barely remember you had an assignment due at 11:59 p.m. last night, nonetheless a color for the infirmary. Your friends will ask, “You’re a blue, right? Yeah, I’m a red.” What if you wanted to be a different color? You’ve never even experienced the other side of the infirmary and you’re starting to feel left out.
5. Wondering how you’ve shown up to more “follow-up” appointments than you have class
The staff there is incredibly caring, but you resent the fact you’ve been there the entire week. Your doctor says, “Is tomorrow at 9 a.m. good for you?” You say yes because part of you feels sorry for your illness and another part of you is too embarrassed to say that’s too early. Pretty sure you’ve shown up to more of these than your own class. Maybe it’s the Gatorade that keeps you coming back or the hot doctor.
