Why Rejection Can Be A Good Thing
Start writing a post
Relationships

Why Rejection Can Be A Good Thing

Besides the fact that it gives you an excuse to eat ice cream, marathon a show, and cry?

11
Why Rejection Can Be A Good Thing
realmandwhiskey.com

Nine months ago, I confessed that I had feelings to the first man I had a crush on since coming out, and after authentically pouring my soul out to him, he rejected me. It hurt (obviously), but he had every right to do so, and I understood that. What I didn’t understand was how to get over the pain.

Like everybody else in my generation, I tried to use Google as my therapist, searching for articles that might offer sufficient wisdom for me to endure the pain. Unfortunately, none of it offered solace for my situation, and I never really got over the frustration that this first rejection gave me.

Then, recently, I began talking with that guy once more, and I got hope that my chance for being with him had finally arrived. However, it turns out that I had misinterpreted his acts of friendship for signals of romantic interest. He rejected me again, but this time, I had an epiphany that I think might help the next person who asks Google for support in overcoming the pain of unrequited love.

Being rejected by the same person twice has taught me that rejection places a person on a precipice where they have a decision to make. Picture it like a fork in the road. There are two paths, and the first one is the path that I originally chose to venture down after being rejected for the first time.

I obsessed over why this guy didn’t reciprocate the feelings that I had. Maybe I wasn’t cute enough, funny enough, compassionate enough or insightful enough. Maybe he thought there was something wrong with me. I constantly tried to guess what this man’s evaluation of me had been, and in doing so, I subtly allowed these negative thoughts to define me. Without realizing it, I stopped loving myself, even if it was just a little bit.

But then the second rejection happened, and even though it stung, I realized that the reason why it hurt so much was because I know that I am worthy of somebody’s love, and it sent me down the opposite path where I had realizations about myself. I am cute enough. I am funny enough. I am compassionate enough. I am insightful enough. I am enough. (If you’re facing a similar pain right now, read those last five sentences aloud to yourself-- it feels good).

The reason that I was so confused about my obsession was because deep down I knew that I was worthy of love, and that was coming into conflict with what I believed this guy thought about me.

The reason that rejection hurts so much is because you do love yourself, you do know that you deserve to be loved, but if you allow somebody else’s evaluation to invalidate that, then you’re channeling your frustration in a negative way. When you’re rejected, it’s painful because somebody is unintentionally attacking your ego.

Don’t get me wrong: it’s totally okay for an individual to reject somebody, but when it happens, the rejected party has to focus on the fact that they’re hurting because they’re trying to love themselves in spite of it. It’s not an easy task to accomplish. I bet that even if I had heard this advice after the first rejection, I would have ignored it, and moved onto the next article.

It’s a choice you have to make-- to love yourself, and you have to repeatedly make it.

Even though both rejections absolutely sucked, when I recovered with the realization that I actually do love myself, I was almost thankful for the experience. I mean, I would have rather learned to love myself without the months of frustration and raw, unrequited emotions, but rejection really did teach me to value myself, because damn right I’m an amazing human being, and so are you, and anybody who doesn’t realize that is missing out on a hot piece of ass.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Black Friday: Explained

Time to question this unofficial corporate holiday.

1513
Flickr/John Henderson

On a personal level, Black Friday has always confused me. Everyone just ate a ton and spent all day with their families—why would we want to go out and vigorously shop, fighting crowds? I totally see why other people want to go do it, but I’ve never quite understood the concept myself. While I’ve been Black Friday shopping once or twice, I don’t get that excited about it unless it’s an opportunity to spend time with family or friends. Don’t get me wrong; I am the queen of bargains. Still, I never seem to have the energy to go out into the jungle of shoppers early the day after Thanksgiving, or even immediately after Thanksgiving dinner. Many people, though—including my loved ones—are enthusiastic about Black Friday shopping, and it seems most other Americans are the same way. So, it’s worth looking at the reasons for this commercially-driven, unofficial American holiday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

#OptOutside This Black Friday

I am opting to go outside this Black Friday, and I hope you do so as well.

4646
Ross Woodhall

The day after Thanksgiving has always been regarded by many as the beginning of the Christmas season. While not a federal holiday, many people take off work, spend time at home with their families, and enjoy the beginning of the holiday season. This Friday off turned into a prime opportunity to begin the never-ending chore of Christmas shopping. Soon it became one of the busiest shopping days a year, which companies capitalized on by bringing the best deals of the year to this day we know as Black Friday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

7 Moments You Only Experience As A Night Owl

Cereal never seemed more appealing than at 10 pm.

6313
7 Moments You Only Experience As A Night Owl

There is almost nothing more annoying in the world than waking up to the sound of an alarm. From the moment you get up until the time you get to bed, you are bombarded with responsibilities. You have to go to work and school, run errands, and do favors. But if you're a night owl then you have an advantage of getting a few more extra hours in the day. Here are seven perks to being a night owl:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

17 tasty foods to cook in an air fryer

Air fryers are becoming a staple in all health conscious households because of its delicious, yet grease free way of cooking your favorite dishes! We all love a good fried chicken dish, but this is a great alternative if you are eating mindfully.

There are plenty of places that sell air fryers such as Target, Bed Bath and Beyond and Amazon.

5179
Air Fryed Avocado Fries
Photo by: Tatum Oblonsky

Keep Reading... Show less
Wallpapers Pro

The Thanksgiving season is a time we spend with our loved ones giving thanks for the blessings we are given. Here are 20 Bible verses that remind us of what Thanksgiving is all about:

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments