"The truth is that it hurts because it's real. It hurts because it mattered. And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself."
Great love means great happiness and sometimes great sadness. There's just no way around it. Remember in Spiderman when Uncle Ben says "With great power comes great responsibility"? Well, the same thing is true for relationships. The more special a relationship is when it's occurring, the more devastating it will be if it comes to an end. And when it ends, your heart doesn't just break. It shatters.
At least, that's how it felt for me. When my heart was broken, it felt like I was drowning without water. I didn't see it coming, so to say it hit me hard would be a severe understatement. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. All the plans I made were gone. I thought I knew where my life was going. And with one phone call, that was all taken away. The confusion was natural. The anger felt uncontrollable. The grief was overwhelming. And the pain felt unbearable. I was lost and afraid, and I had no idea what to do next.
So, I just kept going. I woke up everyday and tried to adjust to my new normal. It wasn't easy by any means, but I did it because I had to. Life doesn't stop, even when you beg it for a break. But in reality, that's one of life's many blessings. Because it shows you just how strong you really are, even when you don't feel like it.
And when your heart is broken, the last thing you will feel is strong. You feel small, weak, and maybe even embarrassed. You thought you found your forever, and you weren't afraid to share that with everyone you knew. So when it ends, you feel stupid.
How could you be so wrong? How did you not see this coming?
You drive yourself crazy asking this over and over again. But the truth is, you just couldn't. And nobody else could either for that matter. Because no one can see the future. So it seems silly to beat yourself up for that, doesn't it?
The pain doesn't go away completely, but it does slowly fade. And so will all the memories. And those memories will be the reason why it hurts, but also the reason why you should never regret this heartbreak.
Your heart is broken because you loved someone and someone loved you. You experienced a love that some people never get the chance to. And that's not something you should regret. It's something you should be grateful for. I know that I am.
Don't let the fact that it ended diminish how you felt about it during the time. A break up doesn't mean the relationship never happened. It just means times have changed, and most of the time it's because both people involved have, too. And that's not a bad thing. That's just life.
You know how people say "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened," and at first you just kind of want to slap them? Well, take a deep breath, and then really listen to what they're saying. Because it's true. Sometimes a break up makes you realize just how real a relationship used to be, but sadly it's just not that way anymore. Don't push the memories away. Just learn to accept that they're in the past and be grateful they happened to begin with.
When a loved one passes away, you don't regret the time you spent with them. If anything, the fact that they're gone now makes you appreciate those memories more. You hold onto the lessons they taught you, remember the happiness they gave you, grieve through the sadness, and then move forward knowing a piece of them will always be in your heart. And in many ways, that's how you should work through this heartbreak, too.
Don't ever regret giving your heart to someone. It's the greatest thing any of us can ever do. And at the time, the person you loved deserved it. But the reality is just that they don't deserve your heart anymore. And it's not because they're a bad person, or that they aren't good enough for you. It's because you're just on different paths now. Maybe your paths will cross again down the road. Or maybe you'll never speak again. You can't predict the future, remember? But you can embrace the breakthrough you're experiencing right now, and be curious about where it will take you next.
Don't let this make you bitter. In the end, the only person bitterness will hurt will be you. Pray for the person you loved. Wish them nothing but good things. Pray that they find the happiness that they're looking for. Because if you really love someone, than that's all you truly want for them.
Let this make you better. Accept that the relationship ended for a reason. Sometimes that reason is simply that you both need to find yourselves. And that's a beautiful opportunity that you should be thankful for. It takes a lot of love to let someone you care about walk out of your life. But more importantly, it will take an even greater love for yourself to let that person go. Love can hurt you. But love for yourself can also be what heals you.
So keep getting up everyday and let time do it's job. Take your time working through the pain. Broken hearts are just like broken bones. If you try to heal it too quickly, you could just cause more damage. It's okay to admit it hurts. Some days will just be worse than others. And it's okay to still miss them. In some ways, you probably always will. But you can miss something and not want it back. And it's okay if you're not at that point yet. Just make sure than whenever you do decide what you want, that it's what you truly want for yourself and your life.
And even though you might not believe it in this moment, you will find something real again one day. The pain you're experiencing now will help you appreciate it even more when you find it. Be patient and have hope. Appreciate what you had, and be excited for what's coming next.
Love is the reason why any of us do anything. It doesn't matter what job you have, where you live, or how much money you make. All that matters is finding someone to spend your life with. So maybe you didn't find it this time. It's disappointing and it hurts, but it'll all be okay. And now you're one step closer to finding the right one. And when you do find the right love, it'll make all of this heartbreak more than worth it. Keep holding on. Good things are coming. And chances are, it'll be better than anything you could've ever dreamed of.
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more. That plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give you forever."