First off, I want to clarify that I don’t regret the school I picked. I love my college and I love that opportunities it will give me. With that being said, I just hate how far away I am from my family. When I was doing my college apps, I never considered any schools close to my parents. The closest was about eight hours away, but that was my safety school. All through high school, I had this idea that for college I needed to get out, and I needed to be on my own; however, I am VERY dependent on my parents.
Not so great to admit, but it’s 100% true. I am the least adult-like person I know. Even besides my immature personality, I am constantly asking my mom for help. I do not have my social security memorized, so I contact her. I don’t know if I like the steak or chicken when I got to those Japanese restaurants that cook the food there on your table; true story, when my friend’s parents took us all out for dinner, I texted my mom to ask what I liked. Now, I’m still working on the whole “adult” thing, but the fact remains that my family means more to me than anything else. Beyond my need for their help, I need them as my support and love. Cliché, yes, but I have moved nine times in my life and the only thing I’ve ever had consistent was them. Leaving everything behind is NOT easy.
My school is 1,190 miles away from my family, about a 17.5 hour drive (which we have done). Now, if you’re the type of person who spent a lot of time with your family growing up (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, etc.), then going more than about five hours away for college is probably going to suck. I’m not going to sugar coat it. Sure, maybe at the beginning you’ll feel this sense of independence, like you can do anything, but something’s going to change your mindset, whether that be you struggling in classes, or even just having some difficulty with friends, you’re going to realize how much you wish you could just be in your mom’s arms and pretend everything is okay. I have had this moment. Have I also had the moment where I wanted to drop out and come home so I called my parents crying? Maybe, none of your business, but it’s slightly possible. Did that moment also happen to be an occasion that happened more than once? Maybe.
Keep in mind that this may be different for those of you who are an only child. Situations could’ve been different at home. For me, I have three siblings, and there were times I would have to FaceTime my nine-year-old brother in the mornings before school just so I could say I missed him, and plenty of times I’d text my sixteen-year old sister just because I wanted to be updated on her life. Have you seen that show "Malcom in the Middle"? I feel like Francis. Not in the way that he’s a big screw up, but more like the fact that he was kind of a bad brother to his siblings until he moved out and became the favorite. I’m not saying I am the favorite, though, because if I did, my sister would read this and get mad.
For a lot of you, you’ve already made your college plans and know where you’re headed. For some, you’ve got some time before you have to start your college application process. Maybe there’s a really good school that’s far away but you’ve been dreaming about going to all your life, that’s great and I hope you get in, but try to imagine your time away from your family. If there’s anything I could change if I could go back to my senior year of high school, I would’ve tried to look up more schools in the area my family lived in, and see if any had my major and allowed me the same opportunities my present college allows.
No matter where you go, or what you do, I promise everything will work out, but don’t forget about the people who have been there with you through everything; not your BFF whom you text nonstop, but your parents and siblings, who probably use your old mistakes as jokes at the dinner table.
