While the title is admittedly clever, that’s where I stop supporting this recent Odyssey article. While I think the majority of the problem is this woman’s naiveté and lack of experience in the “real world,” there are many issues that need addressing in this article.
For those of you who haven’t read the piece, the author makes the case that women shouldn’t belittle each other for desiring to be a stay-at-home mom instead of “climbing to the top of the corporate ladder.” She supports other women who dream of that goal, but doesn’t want it for herself. And that would be fine, if she didn’t label the issue as one or the other.
The first point of contention I find is that she thinks women either want to be a CEO at a company, or be a stay-at-home mom. Nevermind that there are many women who have done both in their life, many women who don’t have a choice whether they hold a career or not, many women who hold a corporate job and care for their children. Some of the strongest women I know are primary caregivers for their children and I support them as I support the rest of the women in my life. Not one feminist I’ve ever met has given me the impression they disapprove of stay-at-home moms.
The author also implies that women only want to go into management or STEM careers. What about the other male-dominated careers? Other places women are told they are too weak? She is ignoring the feminist plea for equality by ignoring their argument and hearing only what she wants to hear.
With Light of Day next week and my asking people on my college campus to share their stories of sexual assault, I’ve been thinking about how that ties into feminism for some time now. I don’t understand how people don’t want equality for the genders, or think things aren’t that bad, or devalue people’s stories because other women might have it worse. But I really don’t understand when people don’t bring up the issue altogether. Nowhere in this article is sexual assault mentioned, which I would postulate is the biggest argument for feminism: violence against women. The stories I’ve received on campus have only proven once again how prevalent this issue is. And to whitewash the umbrella of feminism is a fallacy I can’t ignore.
Women are independent. Women can be “sensitive, cry at horror movies, and be scared of basements and dark rooms.” Women can be stay-at-home moms. Women can “be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family,” not just men. No one’s asking you to do anything you don’t want to, but don’t let your boxed-in idea of feminism hold you back from supporting women who need your support.
So maybe you should think about holding a feminist picket sign every once and a while. Because you know what I’ve learned most from hearing people’s stories of sexual assault? There is a terrible unbalance of power in the world and no amount of parenting or scolding feminists is gonna change it. If you don’t want to change the world for the rest of women, for God’s sake, change it for your daughters.
