Reflections And Resolutions

Even though time is simply just a concept, I do always enjoy the ringing in of a new year. While arbitrary and cheesy, the new year brings new beginnings and a chance to look back at the previous year in all of its glory (and lowliness). With being the sentimental sap that I am, I always spend the last few days of the year heavily reflecting on the last 365 days and also looking forward to the coming ones. This year, the reflections are hitting me extra hard it seems, maybe because we're in Mercury retrograde, or maybe it's because 2016 was such an overall over the top year. So, I'm here to do even more tedious reflecting of 2016 and to make some resolutions for 2017 that I can maybe actually uphold to. So buckle up everyone, it's going to be a sentimental ride.

Wow, 2016, what a hell of a year, right? For me personally, this year was a big one for me. I graduated high school (I thank my lucky stars everyday that I never have to do back to high school) and started college. It was a year of bittersweet endings and nerve wracking/exciting beginnings. While the transition from high school to college was rather jolting, it was a necessary step in my journey. I believe I've stepped out of it as a changed person, and I am very proud of those changes. Yes, my head starts to spin when I think of the person I was in January compared to the person I am now, but I'm proud of myself for the changes I've gone through.

College has been a sweet mix of new experiences, new friends, exhaustion, stress, independence, unsureness, pure happiness, questioning, answering and wonder. I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel the same sense of accomplishment with finishing my first semester of college that I do after I finish a workout, exhausted, yearning for a nap and craving some decent food. A year ago, I didn't even know most of my friends existed. The friends that I have known for four months but feel like I've known a lifetime.

Now, let's transition from reminiscing to resolution-ing (I tried to make that work but it didn't really). I have high hopes for 2017, but that just might be because I am an eternal optimist to a fault. Within the first few weeks of January, I'll turn 19, which has always been my lucky number, so I have a feeling that the year that I am nineteen will be pretty damn great. Now, with my new life at college with my new friends and new experiences, I am determined to make the next year great for myself. In order to make 2017 great, I've compiled some resolutions for myself to follow.

Take care of yourself the way you take care of others. If you know me, you know that I am the "mom" friend. Need a snack? Here, take this extra granola bar. Is something bothering you? I'm here to listen. Stuck on homework? Let me see if I can help. Stressed about an exam? I'll help you study. I take care of people. It makes me happy. But often, I find myself so caught up in worrying about the wellbeing of others that I forget about myself. My goal for 2017 is to make myself a priority too.

Focus on yourself. Let everything else follow. I'm determined to make myself the best version of myself that I can be. This includes studying, indulging in self care, doing yoga, eating healthy, checking in on myself, and not worrying if that one random cute boy doesn't text me back.

Let the world into your life. You can sleep later, go have fun. Some of the most memorable moments of 2016 were spontaneous, in the moment, late night adventures. (How can I ever forget sneaking into a karaoke bar and going to IHOP at 2 am?) I want to continue the pattern of spontaneous adventures in 2017.

Wear that outfit that's been sitting in the back of your closet because you're scared to wear it. Serve some looks in 2017.

Start that project you've been putting off. I've had a story idea that I've wanted to start writing for so long. 2017 will be the time that gets written.

Read more feminist texts. My 'Issues in Feminism' professor recommended me at least 50 books, I can make time to read at least 5 of those.

Embrace the messy, the uncomfortable, the frustrating, and the ugly. I want to cherish the moments that aren't so picture perfect. Indulge in the bursts of laughter during the late night study sessions when my friends and I talk about the most random topic of conversation when we should be studying. Love the smudged eyeliner. Love the stutter I get when I talk to someone new. My life isn't perfect, it will never be, but that's what makes it beautiful.

Accept that you don't know everything, and that's okay. Don't be afraid of getting a little lost along the way. Can you even be considered a college student if you don't question your life choices at least 26 times a day? I have a weird need to be in control all the time. That's impossible, and I know I'll be happier once I let that go. There is beauty in chaos, there can be peace in discord.

So with that, our sentimental journey has come to an end. I wish to you a very happy 2017 that is full of peace, love, great friends and good selfie lighting.