Wow. One semester of college down, and one more to go before I'll have my first year completed. I can honestly say that this semester has taught me SO much; I've definitely learned a lot about myself these past couple of months. This experience has been tough, and I've been pushed to my limit quite a few times, but I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything. I can honestly say that before coming here I thought I had my priorities in order, I never thought I would lose friendships with girls I've been close with since my middle school years, and I didn't think I'd have such a tough time balancing a job along with the courses I've taken this semester, but I've struggled with each of these three things. Here I am, two weeks left in this semester and I can FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you Jesus!
I'm sure everyone's experiences with college their first semester or even their first year is different; some might be better than others and I can truthfully say that this first semester has been anything but spectacular. I had high expectations for this year and even for myself, and I wouldn't say that I failed to meet those expectations but I don't feel as though I did my part with knowing where my priorities were. My study habits for my classes turned into cramming the night before my tests/exams, procrastination literally could've been my middle name, and I'd barley meet deadlines when it came down to turning in my assignments. Looking back on where my priorities fell off towards the middle of the semester versus where they are now with only two weeks lefts, I'm more serious than ever about my schoolwork. Staying on top of the work I already have plus playing catch up with any work that I may be behind on will hold most of my focus the last couple of weeks. Next semester I'll be sure to know where my priorities reside and I won't let anything or anyone get in the way of that! I would advise anyone that has a plan coming into a new school year to stick that plan, whatever it may be, know where your priorities are and don't lose sight of them.
Friendships come and go, so the saying goes, but just think...could you imagine two of your closest friends not being in your life anymore? Could you imagine parting ways with them due to unresolved, misunderstood matters? Well, that's been me this past month; I've had to say goodbye to my friendship with two people I would've never imagined parting ways with. But, hey, life goes on right? Everything happens for a reason doesn't it? You eventually realize the people in your life that matter and the people that don't matter don't you? It's never easy saying goodbye to a friend/friends who gave you so many memories or who have done so much for you or even who have seen you at lowest most vulnerable points in life, and have been there reassuring you that "everything will be okay" and "they'll always be there if you need them". However, things change and people change, that's just a part. I'll admit, at first, I felt so incomplete and lost not having the presence of these two ladies in my life anymore and the reason behind the ending of my friendship with them sucks, honestly. Maybe this time apart will bring me back to them one day or maybe we all really are going our separate ways permanently; losing two of my closest friends is something I would've never thought would happen coming into college (not to mention we all coincidentally settled on the same school and I was optimistic knowing this at first because I thought that us going to the same school could only bring us closer), but I've accepted it and wish both of them well.
Since October, I've taken on a quest to do the impossible, or what may seem that way, juggling a job plus my classes this past semester. And, no, it has not been easy! I work around 20-25 hours per week, and I haven't had a weekend off since I started working. I wish I didn't have to worry about supporting myself financially but I do. I've missed some fun events due to having a job and I've had to miss out on endeavors with some of my friends because I had to work, and I really hate that I've had to miss out on so much, but I've got to do what I've got to do. I've learned this semester that if I want something, I've got to go get it. I can't expect anyone to do/get it for me because that's not how things work; my whole mentality since I started working has been just that. Of course, I know I can always rely on my family to back me up if I really need the help but it's such a joy being able to work for the things I need or want without ALWAYS having to rely on them to do/get it for me. And, it really is true that you appreciate something so much more when you work and invest your own money in it. Lately, I feel like I've just been all about work and I haven't dedicated any time to my school work like I should. For example, this past week we had our Thanksgiving break and even though I worked everyday, I planned to study during the time I wasn't working. But what did I do instead? I occupied my free time with Netflix marathons and sleep galore. I'll definitely have to do a better job at managing my time between school and work, as well as having time in between for friends and myself.
Reflecting over the decisions I've made this semester make want to do so much better next semester; I'd say I've quite a bit since my first day of college and the things I didn't know at the beginning of this semester, I can apply and keep in mind for next semester. After all, because I'll know better, I'll do better.
