The popular anime franchise, "Full Metal Alchemist," introduced me to or more specifically provided a label for the "Law of Equivalent Exchange." In the interest of avoiding spoilers, (FMA: Brotherhood. It's on Netflix. Go binge it right now) the most straightforward explanation is that it entails a balanced trade.

The concept of most achievements and processes in life requiring a trade-off is not news to anyone, in my case one of the mantras of my formative years "Everything in life requires sacrifice." A proverb introduced by my mother and subsequently reiterated by nearly every adult whenever I vented my frustration at the work load of higher level courses or the need to prioritize said work over social opportunities.

Although "sacrifice" brings to bear an unnecessary level of martyrdom to an otherwise quotidian caveat of life, this pervasive idea of a trade-off has always been a staple of my life. It is only recently however, that is has become particularly salient.

As I reach the apex of grad school applications I am constantly reminded of my achievements as I am forced to reiterate in every copy of my CV and statement of purpose/personal statement that I submit. Likewise I was made to reflect on the professional liaisons I have cultivated as I searched for mentors willing to write me letters of recommendation.

This process has made me painfully aware of everything I have sacrificed along the way to achieve this, honestly, precarious position as I pit my resume against hundreds of others for precious few positions in contested doctorate programs.

In preparation for, if not during, the crucible of this process, a more than fair and frequent vented frustration is the feeling of being cogs in the machine. Pouring nearly all of one's energy into bullet points for a CV whilst perhaps missing out on friendships, connections, or the life-changing experiences that stick with us forever that these best years of our lives supposedly offer.

Despite my stubborn adherence to my chosen path, I share that frustration. I'm often bothered by the occasional thought that I may indeed be missing out on some crucial experiences that are passing me by while I languish in my ivory tower. Matter of fact, my biggest fear is to reach the end of this yellow brick road and that the proverbial Oz somehow falls short of expectations or that I missed something along the way.

How do you feel about the trade-off, audience?

Is it something you're cognizant of? Do you hedge your bets or weigh the risks?

When you look back at the sacrifices you've made thus far do you feel like the exchange was indeed equivalent?