The 8 Red Flags Of A Toxic Relationship

The 8 Red Flags Of A Toxic Relationship

Does he check your phone? Red flag #3.
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Disclaimer: These are based in the context of mostly “he” because they are from my personal point of view, but these are signs that reflect off of both men and women.

1. Public fights

Instead of discussing an issue when you get home, he starts fighting with you right there. He doesn’t care who hears, but it’s incredibly embarrassing for you and you would just prefer to fake a smile until the night is over so you two can discuss it alone. Public fighting shows that him/her being right or getting their point across right there is more important than the quality time you’re spending with your friends or family.



2. Going out without him

If going out without your significant other starts fights, this is a red flag. If he gets upset over other guys being there, this is also a red flag. This shows that he is insecure and isn’t trusting you or your judgment. A relationship without trust can become toxic very quickly and isn’t healthy for either of you.



3. He checks your phone

If your man is checking your phone or reading your texts, he doesn’t trust you. He is obviously looking for something specific, maybe to see if you’re texting other guys or talking to your girlfriends about him. Either way, it’s just not healthy and shouldn’t be happening in the relationship. You also shouldn’t be checking his phone either; if you have questions, ask him. If you don’t believe his word, that’s a question of the trust in your relationship as a whole.



4. He doesn’t follow your social media accounts

Because it makes him “upset or jealous when he sees you responding to certain people”. This should be an obvious red flag but apparently, some of us don’t realize it until after the breakup. This is a major sign of insecurity in themselves as well as the relationship. He should support you always, even on something so small as social media.

5. Can’t have friends of the opposite sex

That you talk to on a regular basis without them thinking you are catching feelings or being unfaithful. You should be able to have guy friends. Guy friends are a great resource to confide in to understand the “guy side of things” and can enhance your relationship with your significant other. Furthermore, it is another red flag of a lack of trust in your relationship and an insecurity of themselves, as a lover and/or as a confident individual.



6. Holds you back from opportunities

You are young right now! I cannot emphasize this enough. You should be taking advantage of being young and travel as much as you can as well as other things you enjoy without constantly working around a man’s schedule. If you want to study abroad for a semester and your significant other says your relationship won’t last long-distance, then forget him! If you aren’t strong enough to make it long distance for a short amount of time, you probably aren’t strong enough to stay together forever. You have to be honest with yourself; if he doesn’t support your decisions to pursue your dreams or doesn’t have the same expectations or goals for life as you do, in the long-run it could be catastrophic. Do NOT make your life decisions off of a boy/girl you will most likely not get married to. You will regret it so much later on.



7. Pressures you to unfollow/block certain people

This is just weird. Do you see your parents making each other block/unfollow people on social media? I sure hope not. Not only should they not be allowed to control who you talk to, but this shouldn’t be okay to you either.

8. Tells you what to wear

If you’re rocking a hot bikini or a cute mini dress that makes you feel good and he tells you to change, it’s not his place. He shouldn’t feel threatened by other guys seeing you in a bikini or a “going out” outfit. You decide what you wear. There is a difference between being concerned about the way you’re dressing (like a dad) and controlling how you are dressing as a boyfriend/girlfriend.



Most of these issues come down to trust and insecurities. I’m sure we’ve all experienced an unhealthy or toxic relationship in one way or another. We may have been in one, or maybe we’ve seen someone else go through it. Either way, a lot of the time you can tell if these issues are going to develop before you start dating. If not, they may develop over time and you may realize that this person isn’t who you thought they were. That’s completely okay. It’s okay to not be with your first love forever and a lot of us learn that the hard way.

Even as we go through these battles, as easy or difficult it may be, we have to be strong. You always have to remember to put yourself first. I know what you’re thinking -- this sounds selfish. But you can’t truly be happy in a true relationship unless both parties feel that they make each other better as individuals and as a pair that can stick together through life’s many curveballs. It’s a journey you have to experience together. If any of these red flags ring true, it’s time to reflect and resolve those issues if they can be resolved. If not, the choice is truly up to you.

Cover Image Credit: The CW

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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10 Things Girls Secretly Love

Come on guys — take a hint.

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Let's face it, girls can be a little stubborn at times and not directly come out and say what they want. But, a few of these should be obvious clues that boys should be able to pick up on. So I have comprised a short list of at least ten obvious things girls, or at least I secretly love.

1. Leave her cute texts

Quickest way to put a smile on her face or leave butterflies in her stomach is to send her a cute text. Even if it's simple

2. Kiss her in front of your friends

Don't be one of those guys that treats your girlfriend/SO differently because you are around your friends. It validates that she really means something to you if you still show her off around your friends.

3. Tell her she looks beautiful

Even if she denies it and says she looks gross, you've still managed to get her attention and show her you think she's beautiful no matter what.

4. Kiss her forehead

5. Let her take photos of you

Slight obsession over your boyfriend is normal, I promise, she just thinks your adorable.

6. Tell her when you have something to do, don't just ignore her randomly

Most girls won't be mad when you have something else to do. It's the fact that you couldn't take the time to send a text that would probably take a minute to write to let her know you aren't just dodging her messages.

7. Play with her hair

If she does it for you, then you do it for her. Don't just let her play with your hair for a half hour then run your fingers through her hair twice and think your done. No, we want the relaxing feeling of fingers running through our hair too.

8. Watch movies with her

You don't always need to go out and do something active, watching a movie and cuddling is nice too. Netflix and Chill

9. Let her fall asleep on you

10. Be her best friend

Sometimes all you need is someone to laugh at stupid jokes with, sing loudly in the car with, or just sit in silence and listen to the world outside a car window.

Every girl wants to feel special and treated the right way in a relationship. But just as girls are stubborn, guys are just a little bit clueless. So take notes boys.

Cover Image Credit:

Maille Dolan

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