As a recent 21-year-old, I'm finally getting to experience the world of bars, and I've come up with one conclusion. The only thing more terrifying than checking your bank statement after a night out is checking your phone. As someone who has been on both sides of the drunk text exchange, I have a few tips to get over the shame. Because whether you were booty-calling that cutie you had lunch with earlier or telling your ex how much you miss them via Facetime, it's always embarrassing. Oh, God—always.
1. Don't pretend you were joking.
You initiated the honesty hour here, so don't go back on your words. I know that you probably didn't mean to tell them these things, but on some level, you almost always meant it. If you drunk-texted your roommate to do her dishes, she's probably a little salty about it. But, if all your drunk self wants to do is whine, it could be time to sit down and talk about it. Maybe it will be a disaster and they might never want to talk to you again, or it could be the jumping off point for an honest DTR (Define the Relationship) talk.
Unless it was a typo. I once texted someone "I'm in Dubai." To this day, I really have no idea what I was trying to say there.
2. Apologize if you stepped over a line.
Okay, so you said something a little worse than "This Four Loko tastes like regret." Maybe you got super clingy and triple-texted them, or you went way too bold and started soliciting Snapchats. Either way, you made them uncomfortable, and that's not cool. You don't need to buy roses and serenade them from the street in some grand gesture, but you should at least apologize. If it was particularly bad and you know the person well enough, offer to take them out for coffee or something like that—your treat.
3. Move on with your life.
Don't harp on this all day or keep apologizing. I have a hard time shutting up when it comes to apologizing, so I'm sort of the pot calling the kettle black right now. Still, leave it at one or two and move on with your life.
4. Do your best to not repeat your actions.
There are few things more awkward than apologizing for sending a drunk text and then repeating the whole ordeal eight hours later. Or 30 minutes later. I don't judge. Put their name into your phone as "Don't Do It" or "Uh uh, Honey," if you like "Bound 2" as much as I do. If drunk you even manages to find their new name in your contacts, hopefully you'll be reminded of earlier actions and the shame will deter you from making the same mistake again.
No matter what, don't sweat it. After all, if I can't drunk-text someone 680 miles away to stay up and listen to me ramble over the phone "because I'm worth it," do I even want them in my sober life? Probably not.
