I think we have all been at a place in our lives one time or another when we question why there are certain people in our lives. Why are there certain events that transpire? Why does everything bad seem to happen at once? The thing is, everything and everyone that happens to us is strategically placed there - good and bad. A lot of the time, we think “bad things happen to good people”. News flash: bad things happen to everyone. And a lot of the time we think we do not have control over the negativity or negative people in our lives - but you do.

You have the power to remove the negativity from your life, but you have to find where the negativity is coming from. I know that it sounds ironic to advise to focus on the negative to get rid of it, but it also works. Maybe it’s your work environment, a friend, or even yourself. Even more specifically, ask yourself how you truly feel after interacting with someone or going somewhere. Compare the activities that bring you genuine joy to the ones that emotionally and mentally drain you. Compare the conversations with people who recharge and inspire you, to the ones that make you feel empty.

Negativity is not always blatantly obvious, either. And that could be because we excuse it a lot. We say things such as, “Oh that’s just the way they are," or “It’s always been that way”. Well, you are the way you are for the same reasons. You are in control of how much negativity you bring into your life, and how much you choose to minimize.

I do not like to advise completely cutting people out of your life - unless it is absolutely necessary, of course. Rather, surround yourself with those who make you feel happy, loved, and important. Learn to say no to the ones who bring your mood down. Learn to not feel guilty for telling them no. But most importantly - learn to forgive them. Accept them, forgive them, and move on with your glorious life.

If someone has hurt you badly enough that you are the one causing negativity within yourself, then it is time for you to make a change. The harsh truth is that a toxic person probably will not change their ways. But lucky you, because you recognize this and have the power to change yourself. And PLEASE never feel guilty for doing a favor for yourself. There is quite a strange idea that doing favors for ourselves is “selfish," and doing favors for others is gratifying. While I agree that doing things for other people is one of the greatest feelings in the world, a constant lifestyle of that can be quite draining. In order to have a maximum amount of happiness, find a balance of giving and taking that works for you.

We have all learned that there will always be a mixture of good and bad things in each of our lives. Fortunately for you, you are in control of how much or little is in your life. But just remember: it is okay to do yourself favors. It is okay to not communicate with someone who affects you in a negative way. It is okay to have things that make only you happy.

Try doing something you normally wouldn’t. Try taking time for yourself, and doing something that makes you happy. Because removing someone or something that is toxic to your life is one of the greatest favors you can do for yourself - and you are important.