The day I turned 19, it was a rainy Wednesday in Salisbury, Maryland. I had only been at school for 34 days, and it was my first birthday where I didn't have my twin brother by my side. It was my first birthday in a dorm room. My first birthday not at home. My first birthday not surrounded by my best friends from home. And my last birthday as a teenager. This was all I could think of.
19 is a strange year. While it still counts as your teenage years, 19 is also considered adulthood, where you are expected to know every move you take before you even have to make it. Being the oldest of my friends, I was the first to turn 19, and let me tell you, no one freaks out about you turning 19, as much as they do when you turn 18. I get it: 18 is when you become an official adult. But isn't 19 the year you take off the training wheels and actually try out everything you learned when you were 18?
Thankfully, no one really expects a 19-year-old to totally know what the hell is going on, but I freaked out when I turned 19. The way I saw it, it was my last year of my childhood. Now that sounds dramatic, but 19 is your last year before your twenties. YOUR TWENTIES. My usual rant about entering your twenties includes having to graduate, move out of your parents house, find a job, find a house, find a MATE, while also trying to figure out who you are and what you want in life.The year you turn 19 is a 365-day countdown to being an actual adult. At least, that is what I thought when I first turned 19.
Maybe it was because I was in college for the first time, but my main focus during the year was to celebrate how young I am. That's a wonderful mindset to have because many people are eager for the future and to be adults. Let's be clear; we are never going to be this young again, and I was never going to be a teenager again. It's not like I went crazy, but I felt like there was so much I HAD to do before I assumed my duties as a woman in my 20s (which is crazy because everyone says your twenties are your golden years).
In a little less than a month, I turn 20, and I'm freaking out even more than a year ago. But now that my time as an "in-between teenager-adult" has passed, I have realized that 19 only felt different because it was my first year in college. No one cared that I was slightly more experienced in acting like an adult than your average 18-year-old. All that ever mattered was that I was a least 18 and therefore, legal.
"Are you 18 ma'am?"
"No, I'm 19"
"....anyway..."
My first year college experience is a completely different story for another time. While my year as a 19-year-old has helped me grow and learn more than any other year, I firmly believe it is because I was a college freshman for most of it. I know most freshmen are 18, and I don't want anyone who is turning 19 to not feel excited for the year to come. My point here is that being 19 was a turning point for me, but that is because I made it that way. I didn't gain any privileges from turning 19. I didn't get a big party to celebrate my coming of age. I was 19 and the only thing I could focus on was that I'm almost 20...which means I might as well be 23...25...28...and so on. So for those of you reading this and turning 19 in the near future, my advice to you is: don't spend your year stressing out about the future or trying to hold on to your teenage years. Just let 19 happen.
